This week we have Mark* who had a sex dream about his ex-girlfriend banging another guy:
I had a dream about my ex. We were on/off together for two years and have been broken up for over three months. It was a toxic relationship and breakup. I had no contact with her during this time but would stalk her on Facebook. I stopped that for over two weeks now. Last night, I had a dream and it was vivid. She was having sex with another man. In my dream, I saw the whole interaction. It left me waking up very emotional. At work, I couldn't shake it off. Please help me analyze this dream I had last night.
Here's Lauri's interpretation:
Let's first examine why you stalked her after the relationship ended. What was your motive? Were you hoping to see that she was miserable? Did she cheat on you and you wanted to see if she was still with him? Or are you just a glutton for punishment?
Stalking an ex on Facebook will only keep you chained to the past and stuck in your misery. It's a cruel thing to do to yourself.
Stalking an ex on Facebook will only keep you chained to the past and stuck in your misery.
This repetitive behavior — as with any repetitive behavior — trains your brain to want to continually seek this out. And when a repetitive behavior suddenly stops, the brain — the subconscious in particular — misses the activity and compensates for it by providing you with a dream about it. This is why people who quit smoking, for example, will continue to dream of smoking after they quit. Your subconscious gave you exactly what you were looking for all this time... and it gave it to you hardcore! You see, the subconscious dreaming mind has a way of being brutally honest with us when the waking mind refuses to be. And yours was letting you know, in no uncertain terms, she's moved on.
The subconscious dreaming mind has a way of being brutally honest with us when the waking mind refuses to.
Sometimes we need our dreams to slap us in the face so we can wake up to reality. So thank your dreaming mind for showing you the light. Your relationship and break up were toxic. Don't let the aftermath be toxic as well. Close this ugly chapter and move on.
As far as sex dreams go, I'm pretty sure dreaming about your ex having sex with someone else is the absolute worst case scenario, so I definitely feel for Mark. This blows.
But according to Lauri, it seems like this dream could have been a blessing in disguise.
Looks like it's a sign to quit the Facebook stalking and MOVE ON.
* Names have been changed.