F*ck It: 13 Reasons Why The Only Person Worth Marrying Is My BFF
We’ve known each other for years, we have great chemistry and there’s nothing we can’t talk about. We know each other's bad habits, quirks and exactly what pisses each other off.
We find each other attractive, charming and witty. We have the same taste in bad TV and love the same crappy music. We are each other's soulmate and significant other... we are best f*cking friends.
I never thought my life would come to a point where my ideal relationship would involve my best friend. I never thought those Barry White and Natalie Cole songs would come to represent a platonic friendship rather than a steamy romance, but here we are.
After 20-something years, I've finally realized that men come and go, husbands are not for certain and your best friend will be the one wiping your ass when you're old and grey.
Because finding a man is easy, but finding a best friend takes years. Finding someone who understands you, appreciates you and loves you for all your flaws and insecurities doesn't always come with long white gowns and sacred vows.
Finding someone with whom you can comfortably share the silence and express your innermost thoughts and desires can't always be found in a bar or during your next drunk hookup.
After every breakup, failed romance and bad Tinder date, it will always be the two of you. The two of you on weekend trips and family holidays. The two of you on picnics, shopping dates and all-inclusive cruises.
The two of you at weddings, funerals and Sunday brunches. At this point, it seems like the best marriage you could hope for is one with your best friend.
Because single life is a daunting and disillusioned game of tag. We run through parks, overpriced tapas restaurants and dirty apartments like we’re being chased with a pressing hand to our backs.
Like tag, the game ends and we find ourselves huffing and puffing back to the one person who's always there, standing still.
This may sound like an homage to a girl who is in the beginning phases of buying cats and a string of rope, but I swear, it’s not. It’s just a clear understanding that no man will ever be better than my best friend... unless the sex is really, really good.
She actually wants to watch a movie…
When she asks you to watch a movie, there will be no creepy innuendos attached to it. No “extra butter,” “everlasting gobstoppers” or sneaking in the back door.
When she wants to "watch a movie," it's because she really just wants to watch a movie.
She’ll know what’s going on even when you say you’re "fine"
Only your best friend knows when "fine" really means you're falling apart. You’ll never need to say you’re fine with her though because you'll never feel like you need to hide your real feelings.
Saying you’re fine will only piss her off because she expects you to always be honest with her.
She isn’t scared to tell you that you’ve gained weight
But she’ll help you lose it. She will get excited about planning a diet that will be great for both of you.
She'll even spend the next few days looking up recipes and taking shopping trips to organic grocery stores.
She’ll always look good on your arm
There's no better accessory than a best friend. She's like your invisibility cloak through life, protecting you from awkward encounters and situations you'd rather not face alone.
She's like your faithful Hollywood agent, always there to tell you when to take on something and when to just pass.
You won't have to hide your trashy TV habits
You won’t have to sit next to someone who is moaning through your favorite show. You won’t have to feel bad subjecting someone to your guilty pleasures.
You won't have to make excuses for your TV habits because she has the same ones.
Sharing a life with someone also means sharing the television, and we all know that trashy TV is only good if you have someone to make fun of it with.
She actually likes to go shopping
She won't just indulge your trips to the mall -- she'll stand in dressing rooms with you, critiquing and evaluating every part of your decision-making process.
She won't just tell you, "That looks good," but where you should wear it, if it's worth the price, and if you actually need a blue cashmere suit.
She’ll never pit you against other women
You will never have to worry about her eyes wondering to someone else. You won’t look in the mirror and curse new wrinkles and sagging skin. You won't feel insecure when you go out because she doesn't care about that stuff.
She knows who you are and loves you for that. Your looks -- and other women's looks -- are never what's keeping her around.
She’ll always look you in the eyes
She understands what it’s like to be a woman, so she treats you accordingly. She may tell you your tits look good today, but she’ll never think of you as just “a pair of tits.”
You've got your assets and she has no problem complimenting them, but your assets always come second to who they're attached to.
She won’t be pissed off when you get your period
By the laws of sisterhood, you’ll probably get your periods at the same time. With your cycles in sync, it'll feel more like a week of dark chocolate Dove bars, bad TV and someone who always has an extra tampon.
She will actually know how to buy for you
Your best friend will never buy you something that needs to be returned. Her gifts are always thoughtful and exactly what you need. She buys things when they remind her of you and doesn't hesitate to splurge.
All her gifts will be meaningful and lovingly thought out. She knows your taste more than anyone -- sometimes even better than you.
She will never call you crazy
A woman will never call another woman crazy because we know what that means. A woman isn't crazy because she's expressing her feelings or acting in a way you can't understand.
Your best friend would never devalue your actions and thoughts to something as obnoxious and insulting as "crazy."
She won't just try and "shut you up"
Your best friend won’t tell you that you’re right just so you'll stop talking. She won't evade questions and end the discussion because she's done talking about it.
She's your best friend and she will always want to work through things, even if it's not always what she wants to hear.
She doesn’t mind talking it out
Your best friend enjoys hour-long discussions and talking things through.
She understands that communication is essential and talking to you is something she's enjoyed doing with you since the start of it all.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It