Surprisingly many girls seem to be alone on Valentine’s Day this year and I ask myself: why? Is V- Day becoming outdated, are we hanging out with the wrong men or is it because we lack sex appeal to the point that no guy can be bothered to put in the effort? If that’s the case, I’m gonna have a serious talk with my beauty esthetician and I suggest you do too.
Seriously though. I’ll tell you why you’re alone today. In your mind, you’ve painted a picture of a knight in shining armor who invites you for a three-course meal at his Parisian castle only to seduce you on a bed of roses. Wake up, Martha Stewart.
This is not 1453 when you as a woman were shunned from society if you weren’t married by 14. As times have changed and the view on relationship and marriage equally have transformed, the importance of Valentine’s day is no longer what it was back in the day of maidens and noblemen. Let me tell you why:
Guys in our generation are focusing on their careers right now
Guys in their 20s and early 30s are shit-scared. They are frightened beyond their minds that if they don’t perform well during this time in their careers, they won’t be able to afford you once they’re looking to seriously date. That’s why they spend all that time in “the zone”; constantly pondering how to get promoted, earn that next buck or make the game-changing deal.
It’s known that men are unable multi-task and can only focus on one thing at a time (they’re less sophisticated than we are, what can I tell you). Therefore, let them have their time of establishing their businesses. With a little luck in the future, you’ll be able to milk it too.
If your husband in 10 years from now doesn’t acknowledge V-day, then you have a problem, or as I like to see it: a legit reason for going on a sex-strike until he takes you to Jacob & Co.
You are focusing on your career right now
Again, women today aren’t sitting in their tower waiting for Mr. Right to ride by. Many of us are equally slaving away at the office: may it be at ELLE, Goldman Sachs or as our mother’s “assigned secretaries.” Finding the time to socialize with potential boyfriends is hard when you’re busy with work Monday to Friday. And during the weekend many of us need to catch up on “Me-Time” to look semi-decent in the office again on Monday. It’s a vicious “never-gonna-meet-my-future-husband-like-this” circle.
If you want to meet a guy who takes you out on V-day you need to take that time off for it to happen. Go on after-drink dates, take your lunch with you to the park (men are more likely to approach their prey when it sits alone), use social media or my favorite, take a “Personal Day” once in awhile. You deserve it.
This generation consists of a higher Percent of Assholes
If you haven’t figured it out already, spend some more time on this site. During the Middle ages up until Industrialism, men were expected to act like “gentlemen.” King Arthur was followed by Rhett Butler, and they were the role models of those times. Now men are supposed to be like John Mayer and Jay-Z. It’s all “Money in the front, bitches in the back” mentality wherever you go. Being bad, a heartbreaker and all that nonsense is considered “cool” by our guy friends.
Don’t ask me why, I’m just stating sad facts. It’s better to just be friends with these guys until they’ve matured out of their Kanye West-period.
You haven’t met the Right Guy
I wouldn’t say it’s hard to find a guy. After all, there are 3.5 billion of them. It’s hard though to find a guy who you like, who likes you back, just as much.
Next problem is to make sure that he lives in the same country as you, because in this digital day and jet-setting-age that no longer is a certainty. An additional problem is to get a guy who’s generous, ambitious and wants to provide for a family in the future. Chances of meeting one of these A-class guys decrease rapidly, especially when there’s heavy competition in the way.
I actually just know two guys like that: my dad and my brother, and they’re both taken. If I knew where to find a guy corresponding to “ideal”, I would already be on his yacht in the Seychelles right now, promising him my full devotion and affection. I honestly don’t know where a guy like that can be found. I can tell you where he isn’t though. He’s not at 1Oak, SL or Lavo. I’ve looked.
You haven’t been wishing for it to happen
I’m a firm believer of what you think of, you attract into your life. If you’re certain that no one of the male gender will acknowledge your sorry ass today, then you’re right. You might as well turn your phone off to save battery.
If you, however, always stay positive, optimistic and radiate love with confidence -- it will find its way back to you one day -- it will. I’ll give you my personal guarantee.
Anna Madsen | Elite.