Why You Should Chill The F Out With Your PDA

by Ashley Fern

Arite, we get it. You have found the most amazing person in the whole world and can’t help but to shower this person with affection 24/7. Good for you. Seriously good for you, but for the sake of the rest of us who understand the concept of privacy, please for all of us, get a f*cking room. I understand handholding. Even though the concept of it seems revolting to me, this is fine. What is not fine is shoving your tongue down your partners throat any chance you get.

How much is too much? What behaviors are okay for public, and which are not? There are certain boundaries that should not be crossed when dealing with public displays of affection. A little kiss here and there is fine, but if you’re out at a club dry humping your partner, then please just stop right there. If you are feeding on another person’s ‘private parts’ in public, what the hell is wrong with you? They’re called private parts for a reason, so take this shit to a private place.

“PDAs are considered rude because no one really wants to watch a private act carried out in public. That's the reason we have doors to rooms and curtains on windows.”

Always take note of the setting you are in and the people that are around you. If you are in a kid-friendly area, it is probably not in your best interest to physically maul each other. Not only will children freak out about this, so will their elderly. Have some respect. If you’re not doing it for yourself, at least have the decency to consider the opinions of others.

If for some reason you are unable to resist your partner, please stick to kisses only. No one wants to watch you jerk your boy off in public or watch you feel up your girlfriend. Don’t engage is this type of behavior in front of other people. Nobody wants to see you face-f*cking in public while they’re trying to eat. Tone it down a bit or keep that shit at home.

“Sometimes it’s good to keep your life a little more private. Not everyone needs to know your business. TMI everyone, TMI.”

Please keep your puppy names and other nicknames for your partner reserved to private time. No one wants to hear the banter between you and Shmoopie, or whatever other ridiculous names you wish to call one another.

WHY do you think others want to see pictures of you and your partner making out across all social media platforms? This is not a good look for anyone. I don’t care how hot of couple you think you are. No, just no. Do not make this your profile picture, and do not Instagram your daily embraces. All this does is make people nauseous. There is a vast difference between PDA to show off your relationship to the world, and PDA because you care about each other and enjoy being affectionate.

“Public Display of Affection: Couples operate in public areas, and they display affection such as holding hands, kissing etc. They do this to rub it in single peoples faces that they don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend.” - Urban Dictionary

On another note, how do you think you are making the lonely people out there feel? It’s bad enough they don’t have a counter part, but it’s another level to rub it in their faces. All you are doing is reminding people around you of their crippling loneliness. C’mon, for the sake of the single people out there, give us all a break.

In public, you should limit yourself to a peck every once in a while. A peck on the cheek is fine; a peck on the lips is okay, but may be pushing it in some cases. Anything more is just way too much. It's no fun trying to eat or have a conversation while there are people making out right in front of you. PDA on public transit? Please resist. It is bad enough being stuck in such close quarters, and when couples are practically dry humping each other, it makes it that much worse.

I am not saying let’s eliminate PDA entirely, but it’s important to learn when and where it is appropriate. Full-blown make out sessions are not to be seen by others. Do you really think people desire watching this shit in public? PDA can be an extremely uncomfortable and awkward situation for onlookers. People treat the streets of their cities as an extension of their own homes, so they act in public the way they would in their own houses. Actually, who am I kidding? Just stop altogether.

Photos via Tumblr