Why It's Okay To Feel Lost In The World Of Relationships

by John Picciuto

You’re 23. No, wait; maybe you’re 24. And right now you feel lost. You feel alone. As you sit reading this, you don’t know whether the person you’re with is the one, or just one of the good ones (cc: “A Bronx Tale”).

You don’t know if you should sh*t, or get off the pot. You’re dating a girl…could she be the one? Sure. Could she end up being just some girl you dated for a few years? Perhaps. The point is you’re not alone in feeling like you’re lost. You’re not alone in feeling ALONE, and that’s perfectly fine.

If you’re anything like me, you are somehow impacted by movies and television, by fairy tales, by music, by the thoughts of soul mates and by white picket fences. I believe in clichés, like “everything happens for a reason.” I believe in things like fate.

These are all great concepts on paper. You want to believe in the possibilities of the unknown, and you want to think anything can happen. You think you're the only person out there who's confused? You think you're the only person who is unsure of the person you're dating? You're absolutely not.

The person you’re with now may or may not be your knight in shining armor, or your princess waiting to be rescued. This person may or may not be the one you walk down the aisle with, and you have to understand that not knowing that is okay.

It’s kind of funny actually. Maybe you’re sitting reading this, and you're in a relationship. Things are fine. Or things are perfect. You’re best friends and everything is great. You haven’t a care in the world. But one day you wake up and you don’t know what’s wrong.

Maybe you feel like something is missing. You don’t know why you have these feelings of confusion. Or dread. Maybe things have waned. Maybe they haven’t. But you know, deep down, for some reason things are just different today.

This person you thought of just one day ago as the love of your life just might not be that person anymore. You’re starting to really question and wonder how this happened. You can't figure out what has happened that has caused you to change your mind so rapidly. The fact of the matter is, you’re not alone.

The simple truth is that relationships are hard. The person you’re with at 18 is maybe not the person you’re going to be with at 22. Likewise, the person you’re with at 23 might not be the person you’re with at 30. You know what? That is fine!

Every relationship, every love and every person that you come across in your life is a learning experience and helps shape and mold whom you are and what you’re looking for. You don’t have to fear change; you don’t have to worry about heartbreak.

I like to believe in the idea that we have more than one soul mate out there for us. That maybe, the someone you think is the one today - even if things don't work out - was brought into your life for a reason, to help foster self-growth and to help teach you valuable lessons.

Life is short. Life is very, very short. Make the most of your time, make the most of your experiences and make the most of the people you surround yourself with.

Be happy. Above all else, be loved. Take chances and take risks. Don't live with regret and don't live with fear. Trust your gut and trust in yourself. If the person you're with today is the one for you, it will work itself out.

Top Photo Courtesy: Aaron Nace