Nice guys finish last. Or do they? We see this idiom reflected in music, movies, TV shows and in all corners of pop culture. This belief becomes ingrained in our psyche through continuous confirmation throughout both elementary school and high school.
The girls always go for the bad boy: the guy that their fathers dread them bringing home or, even worse, being knocked up by. So the guy that refuses to take part in the hazing of others, refuses to treat others like shit and refuses to be a pompous jackass like the rest of the ‘cool’ kids -- ends up having a rather lonely adolescence.
But then something happens — something almost magical. The nice guy graduates high school and goes to college — a place where being nice is no longer frowned upon, the intermediary purgatory between the surreal and reality.
Being nice has many benefits that being a dickhead does not. The most mentionable being the ability to network. The best way to succeed is with a bit of help from others. Not surprisingly, making friends is a whole lot easier when you are a genuinely nice person.
While being a jerk in our younger years may intimidate others into wanting to be part of our posse, once we reach a certain age, intimidation no longer has the same effect. High school is a popularity contest and being young and naive, we all want to participate.
Once we are older, we come to conclude that we are our own best friends. We have a handful of close buddies and we find that to be sufficient. If we decide to make new friends, it’ll only be with those we feel are a genuinely nice people — people who we believe we would enjoy having around in our lives.
The same goes for people that we choose to do business with. If you are already established and the biggest cock in the world, it's one thing; if you are an up-and-coming entrepreneur, then you will want to leave your attitude at home.
Being nice allows people to feel comfortable around you — it gets them to trust you. Having people trust you gives you a one-up when doing business deals. Of course, you don’t want to fabricate your niceness — people can spot fake congeniality from a mile away.
While being genuinely nice can get an investor on the ropes to lean towards your direction, faking niceness will undoubtedly leave you on your lonesome. Thankfully, being nice is easy; it comes naturally if you let it.
One of the most effective areas that niceness has a real advantage over its counterpart is when it comes to dealings of the heart. To be clear: being an asshole is hands down the best way to get into a girl’s pants.
If you find a nice piece of ass in a tight pair of spandex pants that you simply must unwrap, then your best move is to be an arrogant, cocky, smooth talker.
Pick on her faults — making her question her looks and her person — and then show her that even though she isn’t as hot as she thinks she is, you’re still willing to give her a ride and she will hop on top as if the ground beneath her feet were crumbling and you were her one and only saving grace.
Being an asshole will get you laid — hands down. However, believe it or not — and the thought alone may require a stretch of your imagination — chances are that one day you’ll want to settle down and start a family. Crazy — I know, but true.
When it comes to love, being nice is really the only way to go. Building any real relationship on deceit, trickery or dickheadedness is bound to lead to its conclusion. If you are at the point in your life that you are interested in creating something a bit more meaningful than a one-night-stand, then you will have to treat women as human beings — as equals.
This is the true reason why nice guys — in reality — tend to finish first, not last. The bad boy may catch a woman’s interest, but the nice guy will keep her coming for seconds and thirds.
Being a jerk only works during our youngest days; once we are ready to connect with people in a way that isn’t superficial, when we are ready to build bonds that don’t have intimidation and other mind games as their base — that is when we come to realize that being a nice guy is really what it’s all about.
Paul Hudson | Elite. For more from Paul, follow him on Twitter: @MrPaulHudson