Why You Should Never, Ever Kiss & Tell

by Ashley Fern

Too many people feel the need to boast their conquests for everyone to hear. We get it, you want to brag about getting laid. Newsflash: this does not make you cool. If a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it, did it still happen? Yes, it did. Now shut your mouth and enjoy the fact that you just had sex.

Unfortunately as a society, women are plagued by the double standard. To ensure they model the “good girl” persona that is so forcibly pushed upon them, it is in their best interest to keep quiet about their sexual encounters. The less people know, the better.

There is a huge difference between telling your best friend or confidant about your experience as opposed to the whole world. Not everyone cares about what is going on in your life and you are just making yourself look pathetic by bragging. Why would you even want all these people to know what is going on in your personal life? It’s ‘personal’ for a reason. Society insists that as a lady, as soon as her affair is finished, it is not proper for her to air her dirty laundry.

This is ridiculous because men, by this standard, should also not be bragging about their sexual feats. No one should ever talk about their sexual exploits for the reason that people will judge you. Of course judging is something we at Elite look down upon, but there will always be people judging you.

You save yourself a whole lot of stress and aggravation by keeping your mouth closed. How many times have you gotten in an argument with a past hook up because you told all your friends the intimate details of your encounters? The easiest way to avoid conflict of this nature is to stay silent. Honestly, if you want this person to keep coming back for more, it’s in your best interest not to spread the word.

The bottom line is class: from the vulgar, and entirely unnecessary, descriptions of actions taken to insulting and degrading name-calling. There is an ever-present issue of attitude associated with kissing and telling. By not kissing and telling, you are viewing the intimacy you shared with this person as special as opposed to just another notch on your bedpost. You are engaging in this behavior for the sake of sharing in the experience in and of itself. By keeping quiet about your encounters, you gain more respect from the person you are involved with.

When you know that what has occurred should remain between the two people involved, you can recognize that the experience itself is what matters. It’s a level of self-confidence where you do not feel the need to brag about your accomplishments to others. You are secure in your sexuality to the point that you do not need others to know things that may raise their opinions of you.

What is the point of kissing and telling aside from bragging? Why would you need to brag and look for approval from others if you’re confident? If you feel the need to brag, maybe it’s time to work on building up your self-esteem constructively and not by banging anyone that comes across your path.

It’s a cruel world out there and there will always be someone waiting to take advantage of any information you offer about yourself. Keep to this code of silence, it will only further your relationships. No one wants to hook up with someone who will have the whole world knowing it come the next day. Keep the details of your sexual encounter between you and the person you are intimate with.