Ladies, I undertook a dangerous experiment in the name of science. I texted the majority of men in my phone and asked them to tell me a question they had about sex, women or sex with women.
In response to this, I received some pressing questions, as well as some unsolicited dick pics (which is one way to learn who I need to clean out from my address book).
Guys, here are answers to the questions you've been dying to ask a woman, answered by a woman.
Q: Do I jerk off too much?
A: Is it getting in the way of your everyday life? For example, are you late to work because of it? Are you canceling on family and friends so you can stay home to masturbate? Are you unable to be intimate with your partner?
If so, I'd say you may be jerking off too much. If not, keep at it! Orgasms are great for you!
Q: Do girls want it in the butt?
A: There's no one thing that all girls want -- except a romantic getaway with Ryan Gosling.
The only way to know what a girl wants is to ask her. Now, there's a certain way to go about it, and I definitely don't recommend asking her over dinner. Or even worse, surprising her with it during sex.
As much as it may pain you, you'll have to have an actual conversation about it. If you'd like to try, let her know why you're interested in it.
Ask her for her opinion. If you're really into the idea but she's not, maybe there's a middle ground you can agree on like anal play with fingers, your mouth or toys.
Q: How do I stop myself from cumming too fast?
A: First, let's define what “fast” means to you. The average time before ejaculation is 3-7 minutes.
If you're in that time frame and would like to last longer, there's various techniques you can employ. Try changing positioning and speed.
You may want to stop having penetrative or oral sex all together and switch to doing something solely for your partner.
Now, if you're orgasming below the average 3-7 minute time frame, it's possible you are experiencing premature ejaculation.
A research team, Masters and Johnson, developed the squeeze technique. This technique, when executed correctly, can be effective at delaying orgasm. You may also want to speak with your doctor or a sex therapist.
Q: Do women care about size?
A: Some do, some don't. There aren't any reputable studies on this topic, but I can speak from the perspective of being a woman for 26 years and having many female friends. I'd say most women don't care too much about this.
What they do care about is that you're meeting their needs in bed. If you're going down on her for half an hour, she's not likely to care about the size of your penis.
In addition, for many people, the brain is the largest sex organ. Are you stimulating her mind, making her feel comfortable and sexy? The majority of women don't orgasm from penetrative sex alone, so the size of the penis isn't a big factor. Make sure to focus on the clitoris.
Q: How do I know when a girl is cumming or faking?
A: Ah, I'm sorry to tell you this, but you will never know. If it helps you sleep at night, you can tell yourself no woman you've ever been with has faked an orgasm -- but you'd be wrong.
And we're pretty damn good at it! I mean, have you seen "When Harry Met Sally"?
The issue here isn't women are faking orgasms -- it's why they're faking orgasms. There's a great deal of pressure on women to orgasm from sex every time and that isn't realistic for every woman.
The focus needs to be on pleasure and not necessarily orgasm. Have a conversation with your partner to see what is important to her.
Q: What do girls like in bed?
A: Again, I can't answer this with a blanket statement because all women are different. I can tell you, every woman likes to feel good in bed.
No woman likes to be ignored time and time again while you jackhammer away at her for three and a half minutes and then fall asleep on her chest.
Find out what feels good for your partner and do it for her! It may be physical (think clitoral stimulation, nipple play or spanking). It could also be emotional (telling her you love her during sex or that she is beautiful).
An open and honest conversation is the best way to get this answer. And don't try the same thing on every woman! We're all different and what worked for one doesn't work for all.
Q: Is there a way to keep a girl going after she comes, when she's extremely sensitive?
A: Yes. Where did she experience the orgasm? Was it clitoral, vaginal, anal or from her nipples? Stay away from that spot for a bit as it will most likely be super sensitive.
Move on to making her feel good in another area. If she just came from anal stimulation, maybe relax her body with an oily massage. You can even grind up against her as you're massaging so that you keep yourself erect.
Or, ask her to play with you while you kiss her gently, making sure to touch her hot spots and erogenous zones (head, neck, ears, shoulders -- whatever she likes).
Q: What positions accommodate those who are a bit girthy?
A: You're going to want to stay away from positions where her legs are clamped together, like spoon position. The best position for this would be girl on top so that she has control over how much of you is entering her.
Each person's body is so different, so I recommend getting a position book and having fun with that! Try them all and let her tell you what feels most comfortable.
Q: How can I be ready to go again after I cum?
A: There's no way to get around your refractory period, which is the time your body needs to recover. But don't be stuck in the mindset that penetrative sex is the only way to give and receive pleasure.
If you've just orgasmed, focus on keeping her going. Refractory period varies for each guy, but I guarantee no woman is going to complain about you spending 10-15 minutes (or more) on meeting solely her needs before wanting some reciprocation.
Also, don't forget that even if you're penis isn't erect, touch can still feel amazing!
There's no rule that says your penis has to be hard in order to feel good. You can still experience pleasure without an erection during your refractory period.
Another pro tip is that extended foreplay for a woman leads to a more increased chance of orgasm for her, so you won't regret spending that time on her.
A: Yeah how 'bout it? Some guys hate it, some guys love it. Some women do it, some women don't. There's still a debate over what exactly the fluid is that is expelled when a woman squirts. Some argue the liquid is urine while others say this emission is fluid from the female prostate. I'd argue the makeup of this fluid isn't all that important. What's important is your partner is feeling pleasure!
Q: Do girls hate porn?
A: What kind of porn are we talking? The type of porn that makes us seems like we need to have size Z boobs, bleached blonde hair, no desire for foreplay, exist purely for your pleasure and come in 2 seconds?
Yeah, we hate that. It's extremely unrealistic and leads to you think we're capable of these things! I'm kidding (sort of).
Sure, there are women that enjoy porn and there are others that feel more pleasure from other sexual activities.
Women who do enjoy porn may be interested in a variety of different types that may or may not line up with your interests. It could be a fun experiment to watch some different types of porn with your partner and see if there's something you can agree on!