So you fell in love with your high school sweetheart, and now you’re about to live thousands of miles away from each other – what is there to do?
Well at that point, you were probably too blinded by your love, that there was only one thing to do – break the odds and become that couple that actually made it through the long-distance relationship.
Live thousands of miles away from each other and still have that same burning chemistry you had when you lived in the same town.
Long-distance relationships require effort, dedication and endurance - nothing for the faint hearted. Now I’m not saying it´s impossible, if you’re actually both strong enough and have the same will of fighting for it, it can work.
But you see, there are very few people out there who are willing to go through that mental, and even physical pain of long-distance relationships. I decided to break the whole thing down for you. Here are six reasons why you shouldn’t commit to a long distance relationship and how it affects the outcome of your future.
Time is the longest distance between two lovers
First things first. You won’t feel the distance at first. Everything is going to feel like you have the world on a string. But as communication and arguments become a frequent problem, you’ll feel the detachment - it won’t be the same anymore. And as time passes by, month after month, the distance between you guys is going to seem much further.
Now yes, some people may say that distance benefits both of you and makes your relationship stronger, but it comes to a point where the distance and time difference become destructive. Distance doesn’t make your heart grow fonder; it makes you forget about your partner.
You're not having relationship problems, you're having distance problems
Believe it or not, in long-distance relationships most problems occur due to distance and not actual relationship problems. You were 15 minutes late for your Skype date, you’re spending way more time with your friends, you forgot to send the regular “good morning” message - I can go on forever.
You’re probably going to notice how ridiculous your arguments are going to turn out to be. Now from experience, these arguments are long (they can go on for hours), tiring and mentally challenging. Imagine arguing over why you were 15 minutes late for your Skype “date” for two hours – then you’ll know what I mean.
So instead of working on that essay that’s due tomorrow, you’re having a never-ending argument, that’s stalling you from doing what you have to do, the essential requirements that establish your path to success. So a piece of advice: Hang up.
When you finally see your partner, it’s only for a limited time
Happily enough, you will both find a time where your schedules are matching and you are able to meet up. Even though these times are amazing, they won’t last that long. You’ll probably spend most of the time having sex, making up for all the lost times. But again, it won’t last forever.
Soon enough you’re heading separate ways not knowing when you’re going to see each other again. To put it frankly, it sucks. It's going to turn, from wanting to see your partner because of the longing to not wanting to see them because of the consequential pain of saying goodbye again. Believe it or not, that longing or those constant daydreams will divert you from your goals and result in consequential academic and professional breakdowns.
Snuggling, cuddling or whatever you want to call it, is definitely something you’re going to miss. Having his big arms wrapped around you or spooning her until she falls asleep – we can all admit it, we love it! But unfortunately, you won’t be doing much of that. Instead you’re going to be lying in bed wishing he was there to hold you or daydreaming about her hugging you again.
We all are addicted to that physical intimacy, and not having it is just not going to cut it. So yet again, that longing desire of intimacy will distract you from what’s important, and may lead to unfaithfulness ……that’s why a lot of people cheat during long-distance relationships. So cut the cord and find someone else to snuggle.
Temptations are everywhere! Whether it’s that girl you kind of have a spark with or that crazy party that had more half-naked guys than Baywatch. There are constant temptations that you have to fight against in order to resist. You see, this is one of the main reasons why long-distance relationships don’t work.
Cheating is way too easy. So save yourself the heartbreak and cut loose. Because if your sweetheart lived right next door or down the street, those constant temptations would disappear, and that mental struggle could be focused on that economics concept you couldn’t wrap your head around.
It’s exactly what it sounds like. If you’re living apart from each other, you can’t really obtain the same attention as when you were together. But again, you don’t want to seem desperate for his or her attention. So there is only one way to go. He messes with you by not answering your text message just to make you miss him. And of course this escalates, and you don’t talk to each other for days, to see who folds first and reaches out.
Cut the crap and save yourself the bullshit. The partner that has the heart to play around with your emotions is not worth it. Mind games really mess with your head and can even affect your self-esteem. Those constant paranoia questions that run through your mind “What if he's with another girl?” “What if she doesn’t love me anymore?” what if, what if, what if.
Those little what ifs can lead to major heartbreak. I don’t think I have to explain the potential of these games and dark emotions to wreck your future. So unless you want to end up like the rest of the average 99 percent, cut loose and spend all that energy on what’s going to make you stand out on that job application.
So let’s be clear here, I’m not saying you should stop dating the love of your life because of the distance. Being in love is an amazing feeling, and hats off to whoever is fighting through it right now. However, there are many factors you have to consider before jumping into a long-distance relationship.
While this type of relationship may seem great in the beginning – the longer you endure it, the more you realize the taxing effect this has on the mind and the body. Sometimes you just have to cut loose. Sometimes we must let go of the life we have planned, to accept the one that is waiting for us.
Top photo courtesy of Tumblr