Is Monogamy A Myth? Why We Should Stop Using Science As An Excuse For Cheating

by Yazmin Joy Vigus

The world is a mysterious place, with UFOs, The Loch Ness monster, Stonehenge, etc. While in a speculative state, I got to wondering — is monogamy the biggest myth of them all?

You know, I feel badly for cheaters with all the judgment and pressure they get from their partners to stay faithful. It must be a total drag to learn how to deal with the crushing lies and guilt. Lucky for them, there are networking services specially targeted to cheaters.

Illicit Encounters is a website that provides married men and women a space to engage in extramarital conquests in a non-judgmental, depressurized environment. It facilitates infidelity through the platform on which men and women can seek out affairs. “Our members have one thing in common — they are looking for romance outside their current relationship,” the website reports.

Another controversial dating site, Ashley Madison, offers a direct motto: “Life is short. Have an affair.” It tries to justify the carnage, pain and devastation of cheating by scapegoating the duration of life.

But, hey, who am I to judge? Who cares about STDs and illegitimate children? Life is too short. This obscure sub-culture seems to have evolved and many people have embraced the notion that cheating is more natural than trying to be with one person.

Just to clarify, I am not suggesting one should spend the entirety of life with one person. Monogamy, in this context, is all about having one partner at one time. But still, it’s unclear whether or not we’re we becoming a culture that actively encourages cheating?

Some scientists have deemed monogamy to be unnatural, factoring our genetic likeness to small prairie voles in the desert. The neurological receptors in our brains combined with the release of hormones makes some people simply more prone to cheating. Society likes to use science to conveniently justify human behavior by likening them to small furry rodents when it suits them, as if we are not responsible for our own actions.

I don’t think society should tolerate serial cheaters; I believe that people should take responsibility for their actions. If you don’t want a monogamous relationship, don’t enter one. It’s not rocket science — it’s not any science. It’s just common sense and having empathy, something that I’m guessing Homo sapiens developed around the same time as disposable thumbs.

Dr John Grohol,  Founder and CEO of Psych Central, claims that the majority of statistics are a marketing strategy used to sell and promote products and services to their clients. Grohol might be on to something as the illegal sex industry generates 27.8 billion USD. Why not exploit families and divert some of this revenue into a cleaner platform, such as online dating?

Feeling pessimistic about love? Don’t. According to research, extramarital sex occurs in less than 25 percent of committed relationships — which is not nearly as common as we are led to believe.

Scientists may argue that humans are not built for monogamy, but if David Blaine can go without food for 44 days in a glass box, I’m pretty sure that regular people have the psychological dexterity to have a monogamous relationship. The question should be: do they want to?

People have been cheating on their spouses throughout ancient history — it’s simply not new in our biological development.

At the same time, there have also been plenty of people who fight for love and believe monogamy. It may not be natural, but hey, I’m a believer. Blame the movies, the love songs or whatever else, but you are a product of your beliefs.

If you believe monogamy is a myth, then it will be. If you have the carnal instinct of a prairie vole, you may cheat. I’ll always be a one-man kind of woman, but that’s just me; you have to get to know you.

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