How The Commonality Of Divorce Taught Me To Love Differently
As Millennials, we have grown up in the era of Disney movies, "The Notebook" and Carrie Bradshaw all telling us that we should not settle for anything less than butterflies, and true love will conquer all. Blah, blah, blah.
However, in a time where we need an ATM receipt and blood type before we even agree to a date with someone, the principle of marriage has become more complicated.
Technology makes it easier to cheat and contributes to our hook-up culture, while economic issues have created an even greater wedge among couples. This wedge can lead to the loaded word of he who must not be named, and no, it's not Voldemort; it's divorce.
Today, the word divorce is thrown around in modern-day marriages all the time. It is the ultimate threat, no matter how universal it has become. It ruins lives, leaves you with unhealed wounds and pretty much jades you and all of those involved for life.
It is a commonly known fact that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Even knowing that statistic, we, as human beings who thrive on love, jump into relationships heart first with our heads far behind.
We don’t look before we leap and RomComs persuade us to take a chance because this passionate love must mean that we have found our soul mate. And because of that, it will work out; it has to.
However, this unfortunately isn’t reality.
Let me back up and say that I am a product of divorce. After knowing each other for three months, my parents got married and just as quickly, got a divorce when I was a little girl.
My parents then both got remarried to their prospective partners. Also, all of my sets of grandparents are divorced (which makes a clutch Christmas, don’t get me wrong). So this dirty word has been a prevalent aspect in my life as it is in so many lives.
This has made me extremely curious as to what exactly makes a marriage work and what makes it a "death do us part" and "for better or for worse" scenario.
I’ve read books, gone to seminars and spoke to those who have been married for 20 plus years. What I have gathered from my research is a little bit shocking; the person that you might be deeply in love with might not be the right person for you.
Yeah, you heard me.
The good news is, all hope is not lost. There is hope for a lasting and fulfilling marriage and relationship. The key is to not just think with your heart, but to use your head when finding a potential partner.
Know that even if you love someone with your whole heart, it might not be enough to sustain a marriage. Being honest with yourself and what you need from a relationship, like whether your partner would make a good parent, is an important key.
Even though in my personal experience, seeing divorce has left a scar on my heart that will probably never heal, I truly believe that with the right mindset, you can find the person you are meant to be with.
Love might be blind, but try to keep your eyes wide open so you can know when the right one comes along.
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