Measure Your Expectations, Being A Hopeless Romantic Won't Help You When You're Dating

by Patty Rivera

I’ve been single for almost three years. People ask me why I’m single all the time. I hate this question. The answer is simple: I don’t want to settle for less and I don’t want just anybody. I’ve dated and been in some quasi-serious relationships. The older I get, the more particular and picky I become regarding relationships.

Some may think this paints me as crazy and unrealistic and others admire that I'm okay with being alone. I don’t mean to come across as bigheaded, but if I truly wanted a boyfriend, I think I could get one. Call me overly confident, but every woman should be, too.

Aside from my pickiness, one of the biggest reasons I'm still single is that I believe in ROMANCE. I wish I could care less about the sweet stuff like candlelit dinners, flowers, etiquette, lust, love — you name it. If you’re like me, you believe a man should open doors, write you letters, surprise you with breakfast in bed and send you flowers for no reason. Well, these qualities are rare in today’s world. Here are some unfortunate realities I’ve encountered:

You expect the red carpet treatment, but it should be, “You treat me like a queen I will treat you like a king”:

Unfortunately, this is never the case — people want to have the cake and eat it, too. It’s rare to see a man open the door and pull out the chair and heck. If you believe things like this: GOOD LUCK.

You are a dreamer:

For every person you develop feelings, you automatically picture you two together, vacationing on island somewhere. You start wishing that he might be the one. You start believing this is the person for whom you’ve been waiting. You do this because you believe in romance — you believe this person came into your life for a reason.

Maybe the reason wasn’t love — maybe it was something less important than what you think — so stop marrying every potential special someone in your dreams and wake up.

Lost love:

Sometimes destiny crosses our path with someone great, someone special and different. That one girl or guy about whom you can’t stop thinking. But sometimes, timing isn’t right. Situations, job, family, religion and distance just doesn’t let you two be together. You feel this person will one day come back to you. If this amazing love comes back to you, it was always yours — and if it doesn’t, it never was.

You are passionate:

Being a hopeless romantic means that at least on some level, you are a passionate person. When you want to be in love, constantly thinking and daydreaming about someone, wanting someone physically and mentally, you create passion. Deep down, you have so much love to give that you automatically use this energy by focusing on other things such as fitness, career, job or school. This is a good thing: use it to your benefit.

Being a hopeless romantic has its pros and cons. Some of the pros are that you never give up; you continue on the path to find your love, no matter what. You are faithful to love and you respect love so when you fall, you fall hard and you give it your all. Some of the cons are that if you are too nice, they will walk all over you. If you believe in romance, and he doesn’t he will laugh at the thought of you wanting a candlelit dinner with roses waiting at you’re doorstep.

Being a hopeless romantic can potentially affect your dating life, but try to manage it by being realistic. Don’t think every guy with whom you go on a date is your potential soul mate. Don’t fabricate illusions from every situation and get ahead of yourself. Take your time and get to know someone. Just because you found someone and you have tons of things in common doesn’t mean found your other half — it just means that you two have a lot in common and nothing more. Don’t expect anything from anyone and let things come to you; love is in the air, your time to breath just hasn’t come.

Photo via We Heart It