How To Tell If A Girl Wants To Hook Up With You, Or Just Be Friends

by Courtney Newell
Sean Locke

I'm not much of an initiator when it comes to hooking up with guys. I feel more comfortable letting the guy make the first move. I want him to make an effort to try to see me.

That said, I can understand why girls like me can be hard to read.

A lot of times I sit back and let a more aggressive girl get the guy over me. That's totally fine; there are other guys out there who will make the first move.

Not every girl is comfortable going after a hookup fearlessly and blatantly.

I want to help show the signs that girls like me give when we want to hook up with a guy. It definitely won't be totally obvious, but we definitely give you enough to show we want to hookup just as much as you do.

If she does these things, ask her out already!

1. She wants to spend time with you.

She may be hesitant about certain things, and she may also not want to be too accessible, but you should not be questioning whether or not she wants to spend time with you.

If you ask her to hang and she makes up excuses, then chances are, she's not swooning over the thought of kissing you.

If you ask her to hang and she can't but follows up with a different idea or opportunity, then it shows she still wants to see you despite being unavailable on your terms (classic hard-to-get move).

If she wants to hook up with you, she'll play hard to get but not too hard to get.

2. She touches you.

Everyone is different when it comes to how much PDA they're comfortable with.

I wouldn't consider myself a particularly affectionate person (I hate being touched most of the time, tbh) BUT when you're into someone, you want to touch them. DUH.

If she doesn't sit near you, or if she avoids eye contact and physical contact, it's likely her feelings are platonic only.

3. She tells a friend.

If she's interested, you'd best believe she's told ten of her besties.

If her friends have no clue who you are, you probably don't have an “in” yet.

Oh, and her friends are a great way to feel out if a girl may want to hook up.

Has she told Susie she thinks you're hot? Does Piper keep smiling at you both from across the bar? Cue into her friends and you really have an opportunity to impress her.

If her friends don't like you, she'll be turned off faster than a lightbulb.

4. She breaks her own rules.

Every girl has a certain set of “rules” she tends to follow when she hooks up with a new guy.

Of course, they are usually ridiculously off base for actually landing that hookup but that's beside the point.

When she does something with you that she doesn't do with other guy friends, she's interested in you in a different way. For example, maybe she doesn't normally text guys first but she's texting you first.

This step requires you to know the girl a little better and how she acts with other people. Treating you differently than the rest is a sure sign of interest.

5. She makes eye contact and/or smiles before you talk.

This is so classic.

When I'm at a bar and I have honed in on a guy, I make eye contact and hope he gets it. If he doesn't, a smile works every time.

Sometimes a simple friendly demeanor is all you need to see to know a girl is interested. It's not like girls do that with every guy at the bar!

But don't think if she doesn't approach after this moment she's not interested. I will always wait for the guy to approach me at a bar. It's a (stupid) rule I never break.