Getting The F*ck Over Your Ex

by Minnie Keller

I can't stress enough how much dwelling in the past does nothing but bring negative vibes to the present and future. If you want to move on from an ex-lover, you have to do just that -- move on. Dwelling on the good memories you shared, how much you adored them and how much you miss them, won't help your cause.

Quite frankly, my dear, if you're stuck reminiscing on an old relationship, a new love is not blooming anytime soon. We know how hard moving on from a past love can be, especially if you're the one with the broken heart. As the old saying goes, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and if the one you caught got away, it was not meant to be. Getting over your ex might seem like the hardest thing to do, but you'll be over it and onto the next in no time as long as you remember a few crucial things.

First thing's first, stop feeling so sad and sorry for yourself, and get mad. F*ck your ex, whoever he/she is. They are no longer at the top of your list of priorities, and it's clear that you are not on theirs. Get angry and take that anger out on something positive like exercising. There's no better way to bounce back from a broken heart than by improving your self esteem, and there's no better way to improve your self esteem than to get into shape and redefine you.

Work out and shed those couple of pounds you've been paranoid about, get a new hairstyle and blush over the compliments, or just engage in a little retail therapy to feel good in some new threads. Whatever steps you make forward, do them with determination, and do not fall victim to the sad emotions underneath it all.

It's natural to be feeling a little down in the dumps post-breakup, but the thing your emotions need most is the support system that is yourself. Turn off the Adele album, quit crying like a baby and make plans! You are your own worst enemy at a time like this, and if you spend all of your time alone, you're going to spend all of your time being sad.

Fill up your schedule with activities after work and on the weekends. Go out with friends for drinks, meet up with family for dinner, or ask your closest friend to spend some quality time together. Enjoy the good people in your life. Whomever you just ended a relationship with might have once been one of the best people in your life, but now's the time to put them out of sight and out of mind. Stay busy and your mind will be too occupied to waste time reminiscing on the good qualities of your old relationship.

Another way to stay busy in your free time is to focus on reconnecting with your single self. It's time to fall in love with the single you all over again and become happy being on your own. You may have lost your flirty touch a little bit while you were settled in your previous relationship, but it's not too far gone.

Go out as often as possible with a group of your closest friends, and spit game at every hot thing you spot. The more you put yourself out there, the more connections you make, the more compliments you receive and the more your self esteem heals. If you're feeling better about yourself and regaining that single confidence, your ex will soon be forgotten and you'll realize how much you have to look forward to.

If all else fails, what's the best way to get over someone? Get under someone else. Sorry to all of you conservatives out there, but it's true. The most effective way to mend a broken heart is to find someone new. If it's your prerogative to hook up with as many people as possible, by all means, go for it. If you really don't want to take advantage of the single life for all that it's worth, get involved with maybe one or two people that you really hit it off with.

Diving head first into another exclusive relationship right after the end of another usually isn't the best idea. It's best if you give yourself sufficient time to mourn a little bit and fully recover your most recent love, in addition to taking time to just be on your own. Don't worry about anyone else's happiness for a while -- worry about your own. As C.S. Lewis said, "There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." Your relationship ended for a reason -- do not look back. Admire your newfound freedom, relish in the unknown, play the field and enjoy the ride, literally.