Here's What People Call Their Genitals Across The Globe And It's Hilarious

Thais Ramos Varela

Since the dawn of time, people have been calling their genitals weird things that make people giggle.

XX_XY The Project has undertaken the painstaking job of providing the "first illustrated genital-pedia" and it will bring you so much joy.

Take this Italian slang for penis for example. Behold the Obelisk.

"Take-a look-a at-a my-a Obelisk-a." - Me if I ever star in an Italian porno (it's a long life).

Is this a dagger I see before me? Come, let me clutch thee.

A "baby arm" takes the cake for the creepiest name for a penis, hands down (no pun intended).

A dove is not only sign of peace, it's apparently also a sign of vagina.

Looking to spice up your love life? I recommend not calling your penis a fish.

Turkey is not messing around with any cute slang. Your penis is a weapon. Period.

Quick question, everyone: Would you ever call your member a turtle's head?

I wouldn't, unless I was acclaimed actor Jerry Ferrara who played Turtle in "Entourage."

Fun fact: One type of ladle belongs in soup. Another type definitely does not.

The very thought of someone taking off their pants and a howler monkey popping out is making me straight-up cry from laughter.

Nothing is more seductive than calling a vagina a bug.

Did I say "nothing?" Oh, I meant anything is more seductive than calling a vagina a bug.

This is but a taste of the weird names people call their junk around the globe.

The real question is will any of you start switching up what you call your "bugs" and "obelisks?"

For now, I think I'll just stick to the very normal nickname I use: the Elder Wand.

Honestly, if you wanted to all start using that slang, I'd be extremely honored and beyond humbled.

Citations: How People Refer To Their Private Parts In Different Countries (Bored Panda)