You met her when she was somewhat dysfunctional. You dated for a while, had a good time, but things changed. You changed; she changed. She made you obsess over her constantly- blowing you off (not in the good way) and not returning your calls.
But then you make up. You always make up. Until that one time, the last time- the time you broke her heart.
Yes, this is the story of my life- but it’s more than that. This is the vicious cycle that we all call dating. You date, you fuck each other up, you break up and leave each other more twisted and damaged then when you first got together. Then you find someone else, someone who is perfect for you. Until they drive you crazy, putting you on an emotional rollercoaster.
So you get off the ride with your head spinning- the cycle is never ending. You go into a relationship damaged, become more damaged along the way, split, fuck random people and hope not to catch anything, fall for someone different, get your heart broken, and repeat.
Breaking up from a bad relationship, from my experience, leads to both parties sleeping with as many sluts or manwhores they can possible get their hands on… or into. While this is a favorite pastime of many- it isn’t healthy in the long run, both physically and psychologically.
The problem is that we get so tormented in the last few months leading up to the separation that once we go our separate ways, we aren’t the same people that we were going into the relationship. We become baggage wielding, pill popping, booze chugging, blunt smoking, self-damaging, depressed partying orgy fiends.
The problem is that we never take the time to patch up the holes before we move onto the next relationship. We leave the hull scratched and dented, never allowing ourselves to work through the repairs that are so badly needed. Putting additional notches in your belt every few days is fun- I know I enjoyed it- but sooner or later you will need to leave the belt be and start work on yourself.
The only way to get out of this ceaseless cycle of escalating, self-imposed, psychological mutilation is to not allow yourself to take anymore hits- this goes for both the damage that relationships inflict on you and the damage you inflict on yourself.
Now, I believe that slut triggering is inevitable after a break up; it’s a switch that goes off in your head. Once triggered, it brings about the release that you need and allows you to take your mind off of just about everything else. As long as you play it safe, you can stay in this phase for several years, slutting it up at all the hippest hot spots.
However, the only way to stop this brutal cycle from repeating is to, at some point, stop whoring around and get your shit together. You cannot go from banging everything with two legs and a hole to a serious relationship. You need some Me Time. Focus on your goals and aspirations.
Organize your apartment. Get that 6 pack you always said you’d have. Ladies, go get your nails did or whatever it is that makes you feel better about yourself. But please, for the love of life, stop repeating your past. You deserve better- so, change.
Paul Hudson | Elite.
