Don't Worry, 'There’s Plenty Of Fish In The Sea'

by Amanda Redwood

This phrase is one we casually toss around whenever we want to console ourselves or a friend after a breakup. This timeless cliché can be applied to unsuccessful relationships or basically any failed endeavor, really. Didn’t land the job you wanted? Don’t worry there’s plenty more out there. Didn’t work it out with your boyfriend/girlfriend? Don’t worry there are plenty more options for you out there.

Dry your eyes people and cast those tissues aside. Of course, heartbreak is going to hurt initially and most likely for months, but don’t fret, there are endless options out there. There are actually over 6.9 BILLION people in the world. Do you really think you can’t find someone else to make you happy? Sure, maybe this was the "perfect” person, but how perfect can this person be if he or she failed to see the greatness within you? Find someone whom will appreciate you, will stick by your side and will never give you doubts about leaving.

“I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.” –Lisa Kleypas

The person you lost is in no way unique, as you can easily get another one just as good as him or her, maybe even someone better. The same applies to a career, as there are endless opportunities out there, you just have to dedicate your time and effort to finding what they are.

Go out and date different types of people; the world is your oyster. Try different things and try not to linger for too long on your breakup. Finding yourself single after a long-term relationship can seem daunting, but it does not have to be. Think about all of the opportunities you missed out on because you were in a relationship. You never have to miss out again.

“We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.” –Galway Kinnell

Take advantage of this freedom by serial dating and having fun. You don’t want to jump back into another relationship with your head all twisted. Go out and find someone else to have really good sex with. Remember what qualities you didn’t like in your previous partner and seek out people who do fit your criteria. Experiment and find out what makes you happy.

Each person or business venture will serve a different purpose contingent upon where you are in life. You are constantly growing as a person so what served you when you were one age may not serve you the same way as you grow. This is just the cycle of life. As you change, the people and things you choose to surround yourself will also change and that is something to be embraced not feared.

Everyone has heard Stephen Chbosky's quote, "We accept the love we think we deserve." Why do people choose to be complacent instead of moving where there are better opportunities? Do not settle for the bare minimum because you are scared of rejection. We create endless excuses to justify our complacency and all that it will result in is our looking back with regret and a slightly bruised ego, wishing we hadn’t settled.

“The best you can hope for in a relationship is to find someone whose flaws are the sort you don’t mind. It is futile to look for someone who has no flaws, or someone who is capable of significant change; that sort of person exists only in our imaginations.” – Scott Adams

Many people make the error of remaining complacent in a relationship out of obligation or because they do not think they can do better. Think about that -- how does that make any sense whatsoever? How will you ever know if you can do better if you don’t take the risk and put yourself out there? There are billions of people in the world; do you really think you can’t do better? If this is your thought process, then maybe it’s time to do something that betters you as a person to make you seem more desirable. Increase your confidence, so that you know you deserve better.

If a current relationship or career is not bringing you the joy in your life you want it to, then it is time for a change. You are already feeling discontentment, so what do you really have to lose? Once you’re at the bottom, you can only rise above. Take risks and learn from them. Use all of the “fish in the sea” to teach yourself what you do and don’t want out of life. Don’t just stay somewhere or with someone because you are comfortable.

Unfamiliarity scares and intimidates people, and this fear is what hinders personal growth. We need to stop letting our fear control us. We need to break away from conformity and pursue things regardless of the risks they pose. When you feel complacent, then you are in repeat mode, doing things you already know and not learning anything new.

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