Is 'Opposites Attract' A Recipe For Disaster?

by Amanda Redwood

We have all heard the saying ‘opposites attract,’ but does this popular adage hold any true value? Can opposites actually be compatible in different sorts of relationships? This concept can be applied and evaluated in a platonic sense, as well as romantically.

How can two people actually get along if they hold opposing views and have contradictory personality traits? How far can you get in life with another person that disagrees with you about most things?

“Mysteries of attraction could not always be explained through logic. Sometimes the fractures in two separate souls became the very hinges that held them together.”

Having opposing viewpoints can create for some interesting conversation, but won't it ultimately cause more conflict and arguments? I can see these types of relationships being short lived as compromises eventually get tiring. Don’t you just want to act in a way that aligns with your personality, while having a counterpart who feels similarly?

However, in the bedroom, this kind of relationship can be extremely exciting since this other person is showing you a move you are typically unfamiliar with. By exposing yourself to this, you can become aware of a different kind of pleasure. You are letting your inhibitions go, while allowing the other person to take control. This can be a very eye-opening experience since you are engaging in actions you have not previously tried.

“If two individuals are described as opposites, it’s likely they are not diametrically opposed in every respect. When we talk about opposites attracting, we’re often talking about the habits, backgrounds, and traits of individuals as opposed to their core values. A homebody bookworm may be able to cultivate a successful marriage with an extreme sports enthusiast, but it’s unlikely someone who values honesty at all costs will last long with a partner who believes in diplomatic discretion.”

In order to allow for this type of relationship to flourish, you need to open yourself up to the other person’s strong convictions. Try and understand their viewpoints and expose yourself to different beliefs. This will only expand your foundation of knowledge.

There is no black or white answer as to whether these relationships will work or not. They are all relationship specific. Every person is different in whatever partnership they have. The way we act and react varies upon what situation we are currently in, so it should come as no surprise that the same holds true in relationships.

“The lust you feel for someone different not only adds an element in your life that was previously missing, but it also adds to the challenge of it all. You're a nice guy, yet you tend to fall for the girls that kick your heart to the curb. The appeal of nasty girls can seem like a mystery to you and your buddies, who always ask why you're with the wicked witch from the west rather than a woman who knows how to make you feel like there's no place like home. Could it be that you're looking for the Mr. Hyde to your Dr. Jekyll because the challenge motivates you to do so?”- Ask Men

The main point is the way they function and play out is different. In the long term, opposite relationships require a lot more work and perseverance, but they usually are filled with extreme passion and fury. As with anything difficult, a ton of effort needs to be put into it. Many people, however, are unwilling to put forth the extra effort that is needed to made these partnerships work.

In certain scenarios behaving in an opposite manner isn't as complicated as it seems, as long as the common ground is established. Both people need to recognize the concept of “agree to disagree” because there will be instances where no middle ground can be achieved. The one important thing to remember about these disagreements is they can’t turn into personal attacks. This is the demise for these types of relationships.

“When you meet someone so different from yourself, in a good way, you don't even have to kiss to have fireworks go off. It's like fireworks in your heart all the time."

The most important responsibility of opposing couples is to remain as open-minded as possible. If you stay rigid in your own mind, all you'll end up doing is arguing with your partner. You need to realize that you perceive things differently and will disagree.

The problem that couples who are too similar have is that they may become comfortable and probably won’t encourage one another to leave their comfort zone. Perhaps this is where the idea that opposites attract comes from. How can you even enjoy life if you are just going through the motions? You need to try new things and keep it exciting. Life is too short to just do the same sh*t every day. All of this applies to the person you want to share your life with.