'Daterall': The Solution To Gen-Y's Dating ADD

by Alice Panikian

We live in an age in which the average person may be exposed to upwards of 3,000 advertisements daily. We have limitless options to network, communicate and meet people via social media and dating sites. We have infinite resources for information, music, books, film, etc. We have the ability to communicate quickly and efficiently with smartphones, computers and gadgets of all kinds.

With this influx of technology and distraction, it seems that our attention spans are now about as big as that of a fruit fly. People take prescription drugs like Adderall in record numbers simply to make it through the day in a somewhat organized and focused fashion. It’s seemingly impossible in a world with so many stimulating distractions to focus our energy on one thing or one person for any extended period of time.

In the last few years, I’ve become increasingly aware of the lack of effort put forth by the men I meet.  No matter how interested they initially are, seemingly, without the promise of a romp in the sack or at least a second date, they begin losing interest the moment another pretty girl enters the picture. It’s like watching a show simply because there’s nothing else on. Another show comes on and they change the channel - not necessarily because it’s a better program, but because the climax might come faster (pun intended).

Do we really have so little patience for getting to know one another anymore? Do we really need so much stimulation in order to give our undivided attention? I find myself constantly disappointed and surprised by men’s lack of effort and split attentions.


It’s easy to understand the notion of not wanting to invest in something without the promise of a return. However, assessing the potential (or lack thereof) didn’t use to be so rushed. Maybe there’s no room for shyness or coyness anymore.  Maybe women, too, just have to be straight up and open about what we want.  It could be considered progressive thinking, or alternatively, the death of traditional values.

Another aspect of this dilemma is that, in metropolitan environments, we simply have too many options. Shouldn’t limitless options be a good thing? Well, think about the last time you went to a Chinese restaurant and attempted to select a meal from the phonebook-sized menu. Options are good, and no one should ever settle.  But too many options creates a unique problem: no matter how long you take to mull over your decision, you will begin to question your choice …and you’ll wonder if that other dish you saw would be more satisfying.

Personally, when it comes to dating, I have no interest in competing with another woman for a man's affection. If the situation presents itself, I bow out. This may seem like a defeatist attitude, but if a man doesn't have enough interest in me to maintain a conversation in the beginning stages, how will he act when he's been married for five years? I’m of the belief that if someone likes you enough, they won’t feel the need to plant any other seeds.

Men, if you can't restrain yourself long enough to not flirt with other women in front of her, don't expect to get anything from her - ever. It doesn’t matter if you’re single, or “out with the boys.” If you are truly interested, you won’t be trying to warm your bed in the meantime. It's really that simple. The frustrating thing for many women is, had these men simply put in enough of an effort and not allowed themselves to get distracted so easily, something would likely have come out of it.

Hopefully, one day soon, scientists will develop the Adderall for dating: Daterall. It keeps eyes, minds and hands from wandering.

*Disclaimer: May cause long-term happiness*

Top Photo Courtesy: CW/Gossip Girl