The start of a new relationship is fulfilling. You dive into a new relationship to have someone to complete you. You search to find someone who is there for the long run; someone who is worthy, someone who will stay no matter what and who doesn’t let the past define who you are, but rather, the person that you have become.
We hope to find a close emotional bond so we are able to share our feelings, our worries and our experiences with one another in genuine interest. We go into relationships to satisfy our sexual needs, to feel wanted and loved, but what happens when the relationship that you wanted to continue comes to a staggering halt? You try to understand what went wrong, you start to blame yourself and you might fight for it, even when there’s nothing left fighting for.
The end of your relationship consumes you. You play back every happy moment, every moment that went smoothly, only to wonder why it just came to a stop. Maybe the relationship ending was not what you expected to happen, but did you ever think that maybe it was for the best? If it were meant to last, it would have.
If you were meant for that person, the issue in the relationship would have resolved itself. You need to come to terms with the fact that the relationship ended for a reason and it wasn’t your fault. Stop blaming yourself and stop trying to figure out what happened. Ladies, here are the seven solid ways to get over your stupid ex, ASAP!
1. Focus on yourself.
When was the last time you did something for the first time? For me, it was baking. I know it sounds lame, but I honestly found it to be very therapeutic. The night I got dumped I was crying uncontrollably. How I would behave the next day would result in how I would behave in the weeks or even months to come. And I handled it pretty damn well if I do say so myself.
I could have moped around watching Lifetime movies and eating a container of cookie dough ice cream, but instead, I got on both of my feet and let the memories fade away so that I could get my life back on track. When you get dumped, how you choose to handle the situation makes a big difference.
Mourning is fine for a couple of hours, but the more you think about how badly you have been hurt and how he was such an assh*le, the more it’s actually going to affect you. If you do something to forget about the relationship, you will live a healthier life.
Don’t let the end of your relationship consume your life and affect your well-being. If it were meant to be, it would have been. So with that said, do something that makes you forget all the good memories you shared with that person, whether it be something so extreme for the first time like skydiving, or just baking cookies like I did.
Whatever it is, go out and do it! And as a side note, if you’re out there doing you, your ex will then realize how quickly you got over him. And he thought you would miss him… yeah right.
2. Focus on work.
Whether it is at school or at work, distractions are key to keeping your mind off of the relationship that ended. Have you ever been in a relationship where you were so invested in your partner that you gave it 100% and failed to tend to your work? Well that’s not how it should be.
Did you really spend four plus years on your business degree only to blow it all away because you wanted to focus on making your relationship work? Your work, your commitments and your ambitions will always love you back and never leave you, but relationships will change constantly.
We now live in a generation where getting married isn’t the first on the agenda of what to do; it’s finding a career that will satisfy you for years to come and that’s how it should be.
3. Family always has the best advice; don’t take your family for granted.
I know going to your rents about relationship advice is the last thing you would want to do, but in all honesty, they know more about relationships than you think they do. Every time I bring up someone I am involved with to my parents they are always so cynical and apprehensive of how this relationship will be different than the last. They always told me I needed to focus on school and on getting good grades.
In order to be committed, you have to know how to balance your time. It’s hard to do, especially in our twenties when we are still trying to figure out what we want to do with our lives. But trust me, it is possible. So when your parents do give you advice, it’s because they have your best interest in mind. If they think someone is bad for you, he probably is.
4. Cut off contact.
It’s that simple. If he wasn’t good for you before, he isn’t going to benefit your life in the future. You will notice that you may look at his Facebook page everyday the first couple of days, but then you gradually start not to care because you are so distracted by getting your own life back on track.
When I reached the second week, I realized I barely went on his page so I finally blocked him. You’ll likely do the same thing. Temptation plays a big role in cutting off all contact with your ex. The more you resist, the more likely you are to become stronger and wiser in the next relationship you are trying to pursue. How so?
The more you resist and the more you don’t let the temptation eat at you, the more secure you are. As you become secure with yourself, you will be more careful to not rush into a new relationship and to not settle for less than you deserve
5. Workout for a sexy body.
Nothing kills a guy more than seeing his ex girlfriend look like a model and having a worry-free life. With social media these days and running in tight circles, word is going to get around quickly about how you’re coping with the breakup.
And when the word gets out that you got the promotion at work, have super cool friends, and you’re looking like a model, you will feel like that breakup was a wake-up call into rejuvenating yourself. With the free time all to yourself, plan on wasting none of it. Go out and look fabulous!
6. Read a book.
And no, a Kindle does not count. Reading makes you forget about the outside world for a bit. Although it’s good to have the reality side of being in a social atmosphere, with reading, it can take you to any place, any time zone, and it makes you use your imagination. Imagination is useful because everyone sees things in a different perspective.
When you open the first couple pages in a book, it makes you get so involved with what’s happening in the story that for once, you don’t have to think about your own personal story and how it’s going to end. So pick up a book and fall into another world, and let your own story take a break.
7. Have girls’ night.
Whether it’s a low-key night with pizza and a movie, or going to local bar and taking shots, having a girls’ night is always the best medicine. Your girls will always be honest with you because they know you just as well as your significant other did. Not only do your girlfriends give the best advice, but they also make you feel as if you deserve so much better than the douche that left you.
Your true friends never sugarcoat it for you, so if they’re being harsh, it is only because they are telling it like it is. Go out with your friends, and all of your problems will disappear in an instant.
Top Photo Courtesy: We Heart It