We’ve all been there; you're surrounded by friends, and someone asks the one question you're dreading:
“So, have you heard from your ex?”
As you take a deep breath and a large sip of your drink, and timidly admit you’re seeing him tomorrow. The very first thing out of everyone's mouth is, “Do not sleep with him!” If “break-up rules” exist, this one is cardinal.
Since we have all been in this situation, I'm willing to bet at least 90 percent of us have also broken this rule. Sex with an ex is hard to resist, complicated, emotionally charged and hell, usually pretty hot.
When exes agree to see each other, both parties usually consider the possibility of sex. How could you not? Sex almost seems inevitable.
Yes, the odds are stacked in favor of having sex, but it's never an easy decision to make.
So, what goes through our minds when weighing our options?
Justifications we use for "Do":
1. We’ve been there, done that.
Your ex is already on the “roster,” and your sex was amazing. So, you might as well just do it one last time. We, women, also stress about the number of people we’ve slept with, and sleeping with an ex can alleviate the guilt of adding another name to that list.
2. You want ass.
You haven’t had sex since your split. While you’re together, you might as well capitalize on the situation. If it's been a while since the last time, this option is even more tempting to you.
3. You hope it could bring you back together.
You might still have feelings for him, and you think one last intimate experience could remind you both of what you had together.
4. You’re already being emotionally reckless.
You’re already putting yourself in a vulnerable spot, and you could definitely increase your emotional pain just by seeing him at all. So, you ask yourself, "Will sleeping with him make that much more of a difference?"
5. The classic denial.
“I can totally do this now and feel nothing,” is probably the most popular and dumbest idea you can use to justify sleeping with your ex. Let us know how it works out for you!
Justifications we use for "Do Not":
1. You sort of hate him now.
Since you’ve broken up, you’ve harbored bitterness and resentment toward your ex. Can you even look in the mirror after having sex with someone who caused you pain?
2. Your friends may murder you.
They were there for the initial breakup sobfests and heartbreak. They’ve patiently sat and listened for hours about every detail of your relationship and breakup, and now you’re going to blatantly go against their advice? Good luck getting them to be shoulders to cry on after this one.
3. It could take you 30 steps back.
You just stopped thinking about him 24/7, and you are moving on with your life. By having sex with him, you'll be going back to square one. Breakups are hard on everyone, and the cliché, “time heals all” can usually apply. If you have sex with him, how much longer will it take you to get over him again?
4. It makes you question where he’s been.
Condom or not? You never used one while dating, so if he uses one now, you'll freak out. You start panicking about everyone he has potentially been with since your split, and you suddenly feel like barfing.
5. You aren’t sure you want to get back together.
It's hard for us to sleep with an ex and feel nothing. If we aren’t sure we want to get back together with an ex, sleeping with him might blind us with love and encourage us to ditch our valid reasons of staying broken up.
We vote. There is no right or wrong choice in this situation. Even though popular belief is to not sleep with an ex, we’ve all done it before.
We’re willing to wager that not many of us left that experience completely emotionally wrecked or simply worse than we were when we broke up.
So, whether you do or don't, just keep in mind every relationship and every breakup is different. Only you can only make this decision!