Anyone who's ever been on a first date knows they can be absolutely terrifying.
The unfortunate part is also that, the more you like the person, the more terrifying it gets.
Why is it so scary? Well, suddenly it matters whether or not this person likes you.
We know all about the million and one ways they can go wrong. But how do you make sure your date goes right?
If you couldn't watch the video while you were trying to sneakily read this article at work, let me help you out with a little recap.
Basically, there are two surefire ways to make your date like you:
First, you have to accept your own flaws.
While sitting there and talking about how awesome you are seems like the most logical, effective way to convince your date that you're awesome, the video explains there's actually no quicker way to turn them off.
Why? Because we all know bragging about yourself and your accomplishments isn't a real reflection of who you are at your core.
To really impress your date, what you have to do is confidently recognize where you fall short as a person. In the words of the narrator, "what makes us attractive as a potential partner is the degree to which we can recognize our own failings."
Take note here that you shouldn't necessarily be displaying these faults to your partner. No, you're just recognizing them.
For example, the video suggests it would be "hugely seductive" if you revealed to your date with confidence, "You know, coming here made me a bit nervous."
In doing this, you're telling your date, "Yeah, I'm not perfect. But I'm OK with it, so much so that I'm willing to share my imperfect sides with you with confidence and ease."
The video explains that it's your way of conveying to your date, "I'm a touch crazy, of course, but very much sane enough to tell you about it in a modest, unhysterical way."
Second, you have to accept your partner's flaws.
Accepting your own flaws is great, but it's not enough to completely win over your partner.
No, in order to really win their affection, you also need to recognize their flaws.
It can be difficult to take someone you really like off of the high pedestal you put them on and see them as a real person with flaws, but the video urges that, in order to successfully seduce someone, it's an absolute necessity.
I mean does that really come as a surprise to anyone? Nobody wants to be completely adored by another person. Even though it sounds great in theory, it's creepy and intensely uncomfortable in reality.
The School of Life explains this phenomenon: "It's deeply worrying to be obviously adored, because deep down, most people realize they don't deserve this intense acclaim."
Deep down inside, no matter how great we are, we all realize we have flaws, and we want to be with someone who recognizes that and STILL loves us. According to the School of Life, "we crave, not adoration, but to be properly known and yet still liked and forgiven."
When I think about the reasons why I fell for my own boyfriend, a lot of it had to do with the fact that I felt like he really accepted me for me right off the bat. He didn't hold on to some idealized version of me. No, he really understood me (flaws and all) and STILL liked me anyway. To me, that was irresistible.
The way I see it, all seduction really comes down to is keeping it real and having a sense of humor. Be real with yourself about who you are and don't be afraid to make fun of yourself. By the same token, be real with yourself about who your partner is and don't be afraid to (gently) make fun of them for it.
Now go forth and seduce, my people.