As with any science, it's vital to have a keen understanding of the basic principles of seduction before you experiment.
While it may involve some smoke and mirrors, seduction isn't about lying, manipulation or depreciating value.
It has been said before, and it will be said again: Seduction is an art.
And, while practice makes perfect, honing your skills is actually much simpler than you might think:
1. Take your time.
First and foremost, relax. Speak and think slowly. Articulate and accentuate your words; chose them wisely.
Look people in the eye when you speak to them. Allude with your eyes, and don’t say anything you don’t believe with steady conviction. Conviction is stimulating.
2. Walk the line between confidence and arrogance with precision.
We all know the people who aren't cocky, but “confident.” The misguided gems who, in reality, do nothing but initiate a gag reflex.
There is a difference between appearing suave and acting callous, exuding wit and acting bitchy, being assertive and being an assh*le.
Learn to recognize this distinction and consciously don't overstep your boundaries when it comes to alluring those around you.
3. Add your own personal flair.
If you don’t know who you are, you definitely don’t know who you’re seducing.
A sensual sense of ease and a calm air about you conveys a strong message about the type of person who lies just beneath the surface. Tailor your style to an approach that feels authentic.
4. Please, don’t resort to porn for pointers.
The art of seduction begins long before you enter the bedroom, so do yourself a favor and leave the cheesy slew of tainted fantasies for the pros of the porn world.
It’s unrealistic, cheap and phony. Trust me: An intellectually inventive play on words is far superior to the go-to moves from even the sauciest XXX files.
That being said, use it as an opportunity get a little creative. What better way to occupy your monotonous commute?
5. Remain somewhat elusive.
Few would care to watch a show that had a predictable ending. Presenting yourself as slightly enigmatic will not only preserve, but intensify someone’s interest in you.
Keep in mind that your life is a story, and an important one to be told at that. You possess the authority to write it in any way you please.
Do so with a steady hand, and smile on your face.
6. Try not to fake it; if it doesn't feel genuine to you, it won't to anyone else.
The majority of people tend to miscalculate others' ability to see straight through them.
If being outgoing or forthcoming doesn't come organically, the worst thing you can do is try to imitate someone else's behavior.
Charm and extroversion don’t need to be mutually exclusive. A quiet confidence along with a little mystery (even if it’s cleverly-concealed anxiety) can go a long way.
Be true to yourself, and positive reinforcement will surely follow.
7. Accept we simply aren't right for everyone.
One of my all-time favorite quotes from a modern celebrity is from Dita Von Teese, who so wisely reasoned,
“You could be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches."
Dismiss those who lack appreciation. Use this certainty as a catalyst for acuity, not a debilitating blow to your ego. Own who you are, and refuse to amend, apologize or falter.
8. Make ‘em laugh.
There is nothing sexier than someone who has the natural ability to make us show our teeth.
Sadly, the persuasive power of a good laugh is not only overlooked, but often underestimated.
It effortlessly promotes rapport, trust and a rush of blood to all the right places.
9. Realize the worst thing that could happen is you learn something.
Those who've mastered the art of seduction aren't immune to rejection; they simply opt to make the wise decision not to internalize the negative.
When it comes to seduction, the glass is always half full. Every undesirable response or failure to launch is bringing you one step closer to a satiating comfort within your own capabilities.
Don’t waste your time on someone who's interest is dwindling. There’s no bigger boner-killer than full-scale desperation.
That being said, don’t be afraid to take a risk.
Slip the bartender your number and playfully tease your intention to log a complaint about the truly terrible service; initiate conversation with someone you’ve been making eyes with from across the room by asking who he or she thinks is winning this staring contest.
The possibilities are endless, and they start with you.