What It Says About You When Your BFF Doesn't Like Your Bae
Ahhh, the disliked boyfriend. At some point or another, we've all had our girlfriends hate the boyfriend (or boy toy) we've chosen for ourselves.
The general rule of thumb is if your girlfriends don't like the guy you're dating, he's not a shining example of someone you should be with.
I've been on both sides; I've been the girl hooking up with the assh*le my friends wish I'd leave on the side of the road, and I've been the friend who prayed my bestie would change her taste in men.
Often, though, I wonder how much we should let our friends' opinions influence our own, if at all. And, if your friends' opinions of your man do differ from yours, then what exactly does the distinction say about you?
Your best friends are your best friends for a reason: They know you inside and out. They know what makes you tick and what makes you sad. Still, we defy their perspectives when it comes to matters of the heart.
When I'm with a guy I know my friends despise, I block out all reason in the name of stomach butterflies.
But, when my friends are with guys I don't trust, I feel infuriated when they don't heed my warnings. There's nothing more frustrating than giving the same advice over and over again, only to learn your friend is doing the exact opposite of said advice.
Then, you kick yourself and wonder why you even bother to waste your time and energy. (And, all that kicking begins to hurt. Ouch).
When we're in love, we lack the ability to see our relationships objectively to the point that we need an outsider's opinion on the madness in which we find ourselves entangled.
Friends, especially single girlfriends, act out of one of two things when they tell you to stop seeing a certain guy: 1) jealousy because they don't want to be the last single girl standing, or 2) generosity because they truly care about you and put you ahead of their own selfish desires.
If they are advising you based on envy, though, they aren't your true friends at all.
Your true friends will tell you what's best for you, even if doing so renders them plan-less on Saturday nights. Once you get rid of the jealous friends, you'll be left with the real friends, who tell you what's right and what's wrong based on what brings you happiness.
And, if those real friends are telling you to steer clear of the dude because he's more d*ck than he is gentleman, you should generally follow their guidance because if you don't, you'll stick around for pain you don't deserve.
You'll then quickly become such a masochist that not even the best Taylor Swift break-up playlist will be able to help you crawl out.
I fell hard once. I fell so hard I couldn't see what I was doing made me weaker with every second I spent in the mess. I had always been a strong, self-sufficient girl, but toward the end, I couldn't recognize the needy, pathetic, drained girl I saw standing in the mirror before me.
No girl wants to be the last single one in the group. But, a true BFF will direct you in good faith when you're being a complete fool.
And, ladies, that's why BFFs exist.
If your girlfriends are questioning your man, take a step back and ask yourself, would I want this guy to date my best friend? If the answer is no, you've got some self-exploration to do.
And, I promise, when all is said and done, the soul searching will prove to be worth it.