What You Need To Know If You Want Your Relationship With A Sagittarius To Last

by Kara Kamenec
Guille Faingold

As much as I think daily horoscopes are so overly generic and sometimes change the way we interpret our days as they can become self-fulfilling prophecies, I've always found the characteristics that describe each star sign to be spot-on.

Even with changing horoscope dates a few years ago and all the random, contradictory daily horoscopes I read, I am, without a doubt, a Sagittarius.

The aspect of my life I notice this most in is in my personal relationships. Sagittarians, as the star icon suggests with both man and horse, have dual natures to them.

This results in conflicting personal needs and a lot of back and forth — one day I want this, the next day I want the complete opposite.

Sagittarians are also a fire sign, meaning we're not pushovers and what we want is what we tend to get (or at least throw all caution to the wind in pursuit of).

When it comes to loving, liking, sleeping with or even considering showing interest in a Sagittarius, these are the things you need to know ahead of time.

1. I will die before I give up my freedom, but that doesn't mean I don't want love.

As Sagittarians, we hold onto freedom like it is our lifeblood. Threaten to take it away, or even hint at the slightest bit of enforcing control over us, and we'll rebel, run away, instantly turn off all interest or worse.

It's hard for most others to understand but to us, freedom is extremely personal. It's our identity, and the idea of not having it scares the crap out of us.

As Sagittarians, we hold onto freedom like it is our lifeblood.

That being said, just because we want freedom does not mean we don't want love, companionship, romance and marriage.

It does not mean we can't commit (in fact, we usually overcommit due to our optimistic nature), and it does not mean we're going to run around doing whatever we please, hurting the people we care about in the process.

Realize that just because we want freedom, doesn't mean we're going to take advantage of it for reasons that are harmful to you. We might not even "use" our freedom all. We just need to know that we have it.

What does this mean to anyone who dates us? Get ready to entertain the most bizarre interpersonal balancing act you've ever experienced, mainly with your words.

We still want to know we are cared for and loved (those things don't make us feel confined), so tell us these niceties as much as you feel they are true.

On the other hand, don't even hint at telling us we must or can't (yes, either) do something, go somewhere, see someone, eat something, drink something, accomplish something (unless you really want to motivate us), say something, and so on. Basically take the phrases, “You can't” and “You have to” out of your vocabulary.  

2. I am more stubborn than a mule, and I think/know I'm right to be that way.

This doesn't apply to everything, and it applies to every Sag to varying degrees. But in general, the things we hold true to, we are unforgivingly unwavering about.

Yes, being stubborn get's a bad rap, but when you think about it, maybe it shouldn't. What it really boils down to is we hold our value systems — about anything, be it right vs. wrong, male vs. female responsibilities or sexual preferences — very close to our hearts.

If we feel this value system is threatened in any way, we will do anything to defend what we believe. What this results in is often the complete inability to apologize. (I've had times I really, deeply wanted to say "I'm sorry," but physically could not get the words out.)

We have ridiculously, almost childishly long, drawn-out arguments about whose "fault" something is, and a complete inability to change thoughts and behaviors we believe (whether true or not to you and the rest of society) to be correct.

Sounds lovely, right? Well, in general, it's not that bad. And as most of us grow up, we can learn to see things (not accept, but at least see them) from another point of view.

But when it comes to dating us, there are some things you MUST be able to do. You must have some patience and probably will want to be someone who can see things from our eyes easily.

You must be willing to accept that we're not always going to agree on things, and at the end of the conversation, we still selfishly want to hear that we are right.

And, most importantly, you must be able to say you're sorry. There is no way in hell we're going to be the one's who are always taking blame (~sorry~, but it's true).

So for the sake of any glimpse of a future with us, please be able to swallow your pride and apologize. Doing so will help us learn to trust you and reciprocate the gesture over time.

3. Sex is extremely important, and I'll probably want it more than you do.

Yes, this is one of the pros of a fire sign and something we value highly. But before you get all excited about this part, understand it's something we really do crave internally as much as we do physically and simply need it in order to feel a connection with another person.

This doesn't mean we're nymphos, and it doesn't mean we're easy. It just means sex is an important aspect of any intimate relationship to us, more so than to the majority of the population.

In regards to dating, this one is pretty simple: Keep us happy in bed, and we'll return the favor two-fold, both in and out of the sheets.

Keep us happy in bed, and we'll return the favor two-fold, both in and out of the sheets.

We simply don't believe in mundane approaches to sex and need to feel excited with each experience. It's not as much of a physical thing — although, that's obviously a part of it — it's more of a mental, or one could say, psychological, thing.

During sex, we are able to finally feel mentally, spiritually and emotionally complete; we see it as one of the greatest pleasures we can share with another person. And it's one of the only times we can totally lose ourselves, feeling an out-of-body high that's much too all-encompassing to describe.

So go ahead and experiment, buy us lingerie we will actually wear, be spontaneous (major brownie points for that one) and if you do fall into a routine or a rut with us, please get us out of it fast.

This seemingly attractive characteristic does come with one major caveat, though: We can't stand to be rejected for sex.

We can't stand to be rejected for sex.

What others experience as heartbreak, such as after a breakup with throbbing physical pain to the chest, we experience when we're turned down when initiating sex.

We'd seriously rather be cheated on (because then, hey, it's your loss) than be turned down for sex, or at any time be seen as undesirable.

4. Boredom is my archenemy, and everything I do revolves around this concept.

We'll do anything to escape boredom, and it comes out in so many crevices of how we live our lives.

Routines are boring, so we avoid them at all costs. And yes, this interferes with holding down jobs and other pretty basic things most people can do.

This also means we'll often run late and can be flakey just because we don't feel like doing something we've already done before (where's the excitement there?).

Yes, it sounds extremely selfish, but that's just how we operate. Just as perfectly organized lives bore us, so do physical surroundings. We are messy; we dress unconventionally; we color what's in our minds through our tangible surroundings.

In clutter and chaos, we feel peace and that all important freedom. And what we find artsy, you probably think borders on insanity.

And what we find artsy, you probably think borders on insanity.

When it comes to dating us, our anti-boredom mindset can actually be one of our most attractive traits.

We'll never fail to surprise you, come up with the most off-the-wall, wacky, but also cleverly thoughtful, immensely creative and — a word not to be repeated to us — "cute" gifts, and rarely turn down the opportunity to try something new.

We feel complete when we get to experience diverse aspects of life, and every day we go without something new and exciting in our lives is a day we feel like we're dying just a little bit.

We want to experience all that life has to offer, and we'll never stop growing our bucket list or living every day to the fullest.

5. I'm overly generous and optimistic, and that causes me to get hurt more easily than you.

By and large, we always expect the best of every situation and every person. Although we're intuitive, we have a blindspot for red flags, approach every person and situation with open arms and an even more open heart.

Optimism is great, but it consequently sets us up to be disappointed. And as a result, we're easily hurt.

Luckily, because we breathe optimism like oxygen, we can usually pick ourselves back up rather quickly. But that doesn't mean we don't feel more hurt or pain than the average person.

That being said, when it comes to dating us, there's an aspect of sensitivity that needs to be involved. We don't always tell you when we feel hurt because we just want to move past it and forward, returning to our comfortable mental state of optimism.

You'll probably have to ask the right questions to get the real answers when it comes to any state of negativity we feel at first. We simply don't broadcast negatives without good reason.

On a more positive note (not ironically, says your Sagittarius author), this also means it's hard for us to stay mad at you for any prolonged period of time.

If we want you in our lives, we'll be quicker than most to forgive. Just have some morals and don't take advantage of our good-hearted natures.

If we want you in our lives, we'll be quicker than most to forgive.

We're not trying to "do the right thing" by being this borderline naive, we're just doing the things we know to do in the way that feels "right" to us.