Dating isn't easy, especially when your parents don't approve.
It feels really discouraging when your family isn't supportive of a relationship you're just starting, and this was a huge problem for me when I started seeing my boyfriend four years ago.
I was 18 years old, he was 25 and the age difference between us did not sit well with either of my parents.
My mom blamed him for manipulating me into dropping out of college, which was a decision I had made before I even met him. She told me to stop seeing him, and she wanted me to move away so that I couldn't be near him.
My dad, well, he didn't even let him into the house because he was convinced he was a bad influence on me. To this day, he and my dad still aren't very good friends.
As I said, not easy at all.
But, the disapproval from my parents made us even stronger, and it made our relationship more intense.
Here is why:
1. Prohibited things are fun.
The things that we're not “supposed” to do seem way more interesting and fun than the things we're allowed to do.
This was no exception when it came to dating my boyfriend, as it gave it a spice that intensified our relationship both emotionally and sexually.
I always say the day my mom told me to stop seeing him was the day our relationship took off.
2. Fighting for what we love empowers us.
When your mind is set on something that makes you feel happy, there is no force in the world that will stop you from doing it.
I knew how I felt about my boyfriend, and I knew this was the right person for me.
Fighting for our relationship empowered me as a young woman and young adult.
3. Your parents aren't always right.
Nobody is perfect, and our parents are no exception.
Sometimes external things that have nothing to do with you or your boyfriend, like first impressions or fears, affect the way your parents approach the relationships you have.
After four long and hard years, my parents have accepted my relationship, and they have verbally apologized to me for thinking my boyfriend was not the right choice.
They see who he really is now, and they even appreciate the positive impact he has had on my life.
4. Hard times break you or unite you.
If the start of your relationship is hard and you struggle together as a couple, it can help you realize whether or not the person you are with is right for you.
It can strengthen your relationship, but it can also break it.
After all the problems my boyfriend and I endured with my mom and dad, everything felt smooth and wonderful.
We were able to enjoy our bond together even more.
5. It makes you take your relationship seriously.
The moment we decided to endure my parents' wrath was the moment we realized the relationship was for real.
We were ready to take our relationship far beyond any other relationship we had before, and it felt amazing.
Do you know that feeling of security you have when you know what you are doing? That's how we felt.
Now, we laugh at the past and always thank my parents for our strong relationship.
Hopefully, if you are going through something similar to what we went through, our experience can help you keep going.
I did have my doubts, and I did feel like giving up from time to time. But, I wouldn't have had it any other way.