You’re in a relationship, I’m so happy for you. Really, I am, it’s a beautiful thing when two people who love each other come together and are sublimely happy. Unless you’ve gotten your heart shattered by your one (supposed) true love, everyone has a soft spot for the idealism of mutual romance .
However, some people just don't seem to be aware of how easy it is to abuse the glory of a relationship. You know, those people who act as if they religiously study and practice the 8th grade relationship handbook when they’re in their 20’s.
People need relationships like these like they need water in their lungs. You may want to seriously reevaluate your immature relationship if…
You celebrate insignificant anniversaries
If you’re over the age of 14 and you celebrate your three-month anniversary with your boyfriend or girlfriend, just stop. You may as well mark the date of your first kiss on your calendar and buy each other gifts for the occasion.
To me, people who celebrate insignificant birthdays don’t actually think that they can make it to actual milestone anniversaries and therefore have to get all of their celebrating in while they can. Or they just don't flat out do not understand that what they are celebrating isn't a big deal at all. Whichever works for you.
You’re anything like the “Crazy Girlfriend” twitter
First of all, if you don’t follow this twitter, you should start immediately because it’s that hilarious. It’s not so hilarious though, when someone actually acts like this in real life. You know, those people who are so attached or insecure that they feel the need to be with or see their significant other every second.
The one's who find every excuse they can to turn any situation into a reason to be mad or jealous. The possessive freaks who don’t let their boyfriend or girlfriend see their friends because they’d have a panic attack.
You need to grow up and learn to let go. You also need to find a life outside of your relationship. A few therapy sessions wouldn't hurt either.
Your PDA makes people want to vomit
You do not make out in public. You do not grab each other’s asses in public. You. Do. Not. Use. Embarrassing. Pet. Names. In. Public. (You probably also shouldn’t use embarrassing pet names to begin with, because who the fuck feels good inside about being called ''muffin'' or something of that nature?)
I will personally make it a point to literally throw up on you if you do any of these things. Do whatever you’d like in your relationship, but there’s a certain level of respect that you need to have for people around you. Go nuts when you’re in the privacy of your own home, but you should sit the next couple of plays out if you’ve ever practically had sex in public with your significant other.
You watch romantic movies together
Nothing screams “Worst. Idea. Ever.” louder than having someone suggest that you and your guy/girl watch The Notebook together, or any Nicholas Sparks movie for that matter. Obviously when guys are young they suggest watching movies such as these with girls in an attempt to get laid, and in all honesty I think that’s an effective tactic, seeing as there's tons of dumb chicks who would fall for that type of deviancy thinly veiled by a ‘sensitive side’.
There’s just something odd about a grown ass couple going to see some movie with Zac Efron in it together. Let me guess, you dragged your boyfriend to see Magic Mike too, didn’t you? Just go home.
Ally | Elite.
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