michela ravasio

These Are The Relationship 'Deal-Breakers' That Don't Actually Matter

There is definitely an ever-growing list of what both experts and average people consider to be relationship deal-breakers. There are countless studies with different demographics weighing in on what they consider to be their biggest deal-breakers. Most will show many similarities such as hygiene, loyalty and trustworthiness.

In my opinion, if your partner is unhygienic, lies and cheats, then you shouldn't be with him or her. (Though, I'm hoping that's a true testament across the board.)

There are some things, however, that don't truly matter for your relationship satisfaction in the long run. Here are four "deal-breakers" you should never stress about:

1. Your Past Sexual Partners

Many people think that if someone has multiple past partners, the person isn't long-term relationship material. I, however, am not one of those people. I think what you did or didn't decide to do in your past does not dictate the type of partner you are currently capable of being.

The best way to tackle this is to have a talk about your past (if it's something you care about), and express that the past doesn't matter. Express to your SO that he or she is only partner you wish to have from there on out. Your past partners are just that: the past. They hold no weight on the present or future of your relationship.

2. Not Having The Same Social Circle

Having the same friends does not mean you're more compatible than those who have different social circles. Sure it's always fun to get together and have a night out with your friend group, but why not have multiple friend groups? This allows you and your SO to spend time with one another and not feel pressured to always invite your friends along. You can spend time with your own friends, and your SO can do the same.

Having two separate friend groups is actually a social life bonus. You can have parties and get-togethers with more people, and potentially foster new relationships between friends. This is definitely one of the silliest deal-breakers, as it's more positive than negative.

3. Not Sharing The Same Political Views

Unless your partner is a huge Trump fanatic, and you're as liberal as they get, then political parties have no place in your relationship. I know plenty of couples who don't see eye to eye on politics, and they are still in a strong long-term relationship. You can typically find a middle ground where you agree on certain issues, or you can simply just not discuss them.

A common reason people think you have to have similar political views is for the sake of your future family. I personally don't see why my political views have to be passed down to my children, and you shouldn't, either. Your views are your views, and all people are entitled to their opinions.

If my children grow up to have opposite views from my own, I'll know they're choosing what they believe in. Political affiliation has no place at the dinner table, in the bedroom or truly anywhere in a relationship.

4. Having To Date Long-Distance

Repeat after me: Long-distance dating does not automatically ruin your relationship.

Whether you're in a long-distance relationship for two months or two years, you can make it work. If anything, it will allow you both to have your own lives. You can focus on your degree or career, while still having your biggest support system just a phone call away. It will allow you to build trust and grow stronger together while being in different locations.

No matter how close or far your partner is from you, the most important variables in a relationship are trust, loyalty and compromise. If you struggle in those areas, then distance is not the reason your relationship is ending. The distance is not the deal-breaker; your compatibility is.

These four things should not be “deal-breakers,” as they are easy fixes. If I made money every time I heard somebody whine, "But he's a Republican!" and then never mention that guy again, I would be rich. If you swipe right on a boy that's two hours away, but you both like each other, you can make it happen.

These are such small pieces in the foundations of a happy relationship. Distance, political affiliation, sexual past and social circles should never be “deal-breakers” in the long run.