Young adulthood comes with more common sense, responsibility, self-worth and long-term relationships.
It's inevitable that, with age, you become older, wiser and smarter about the people you choose to pursue romantically.
The preference for long-term relationships over meaningless flings is particularly hard on a woman who is fresh out of a long-term relationship.
Beyond the emotional mess and sadness a breakup brings, there's a glaring issue this heartbroken woman will face.
As she sits in her empty bed, missing her ex's presence, the following terrifying thoughts will cross her mind: “When the hell am I ever going to have sex again? Better yet, with whom?”
If you’re comfortable with monogamy and were in a serious relationship, the thought of having sex with a new partner is honestly scary.
The intimacy you had with your ex was just that: intimate.
You had true feelings for each other, you were comfortable and you knew what each other liked and didn't like.
The “behind closed doors” portion of your relationship was amazing because it actually meant something.
Sex with someone new simply cannot compare to that. It also has the potential to be super awkward and terrible.
How soon is too soon to sleep with him? What are his favorite positions? What do you do with your hands?
All of a sudden, you feel like this is your first time having sex, which wasn’t all that wonderful initially.
So, what's a girl to do?
Surely, someone has to break the ice. But who?
The personal growth stints we've gone through over the years have given us standards, and after pairing that with how great sex can be when it's shared in a loving relationship, those standards are pretty hard to drop on a sexual whim.
For any woman who finds herself deep in the throes of this sh*t situation, be assured we have the answer to this unsolvable question.
So, who will be your best option for the first time back in the game? Someone who is already on the roster, of course.
Here are the reasons why:
1. He's not a stranger.
This is the biggest saving grace and reason to bring out your little black book instead of looking for fresh blood.
Feeling comfortable around the dude you choose to break your sexual ice with is absolutely key. If you’re not comfortable, you can bet your ass you won't enjoy this experience.
2. You know what he likes.
Since you’ve hooked up before, you’re not trying to figure out what he's into. Odds are, you’ve probably talked about a few of your preferences in the past.
Relying on your past hookups as a guide enables you to be confident, let go of worries and enjoy.
3. You know you have chemistry.
He’s on your roster for a reason.
You two would've never hooked up originally if you didn’t have at least a smidge of chemistry. It’s safe to assume you'll be into this sexual encounter before it even happens.
Chemistry goes a long way when you’re getting back in the dating game.
4. It’s guilt-free.
If there's one thing that has the sure-fire potential to fill a woman with guilt and regret, it's a one-night stand.
One-night stands are dramatically different from sex in a relationship, and they wreck complete emotional havoc.
Indulge by moving on to a person you're already familiar with, rather than some stranger you’d rather forget about.
5. You have some kind of relationship.
Whether it's just a casual hookup from the past or a former boyfriend, you have some kind of foundation with this person. You feel comfortable reconnecting with him.
This makes him your perfect ice-breaker option, since, quite frankly, you aren't afraid to break the ice.
6. You’ve survived without him before.
This guy is a safe choice because you not only experienced losing him, but you also came to terms with it.
Hopefully, this will keep you from wanting to instantly jump into a relationship with him, just because he was the one who brought you back in the game.
Getting back in the dating, relationship and bedroom game is impossibly hard when you’re heartbroken over a relationship. As much as we all wish there was a magical way to move on or forget about the relationships that failed, there isn't.
But, we've solved how to get your sex life back on track. We approve the "roster repeat" as a perfect answer.