Relationships

I've Never Been In A Relationship Because I'm Always The Rebound Girl

by Danielle Williams
20th Century Fox

One of my guilty pleasures is the movie, "27 Dresses."

Katherine Heigl's character, Jane, selflessly lends a hand to what seems like every woman she's ever met.

I mean, seriously, who is close enough to be a bridesmaid or maid of honor for 27 different people? It sounds exhausting to keep close relationships with that many people.

Anyway, Jane puts so much time and effort into perfecting everyone else's weddings, she has no time to work on her own.

She can't get herself out there to meet a guy willing to marry her because she's running from one friend's wedding to the next.

It's taken eight years for me to realize I'm Jane in real life, except I'm not the maid of honor giving my friend the perfect wedding day.

I'm a rebound who helps guys get over their exes and move on with someone else they love.

I serve as a great distraction for the guys who are experiencing heartbreak. I'm a smart, mature, strong woman who's also a child at heart and has dreams much bigger than myself.

I serve as a great distraction for the guys who are experiencing heartbreak.

I don't take life too seriously and think anyone who does needs to lighten up. I'm cool with keeping things “casual” because as long as we're both happy, who cares how fast or slow we go?

I occupy guys until they repair their once-broken relationship or find someone else they've fallen for. I know how to have fun and how to keep a fling light and easy.

I'll talk to you as much or as little as you'd like. I don't need your attention all day, every day. I'm confident enough to believe you'll still like me tomorrow even if we haven't talked all day.

I don't need your reassurance to remain content in our “situation.”

I grew up with a lot of guys, from my brother and his friends to my cousins and uncles. (Shit, I was practically a boy myself until I got to seventh grade and discovered jeans can be worn in place of sweatpants.)

I thought I had a pretty good grip on what guys liked and didn't like. I made the mistake of assuming taking things slow and putting little pressure on guys to “officially” date me would work in my favor.

I'm nothing more than the bridge that closes the gap between pain and recovery.

I'm nothing more than the bridge that closes the gap between pain and recovery.

Maybe it's own my fault. Maybe I subconsciously pick the guy who's vulnerable in hopes that I can fix him.

The great news? I do fix him. The bad news? I'm left with nothing to show for it.

I'm not angry or hurt, but it's certainly disappointing.

I don't blame those guys for not choosing me. I don't hate them for going back to their ex-girlfriends. I don't resent them for finding someone they wanted to build a serious relationship with.

However, I do blame myself. I set myself up for failure time and time again. I know the outcome is always the same, yet I continue to entertain the guys fresh out of relationships.

I'm sure I'm not the only girl who gets herself into these situations.

We all know we're the option and never the priority, but we can't change who we are.

We develop feelings for a guy and typically find out about his heartbreak when it's too late; we can't choose to stop liking someone.

We agree to take things slow because we don't want to force a relationship, but deep down, we already know the end result. It's inevitable these guys will think we're fun to hang out with, but will never want a relationship.

It's disheartening, but that's life. Not everyone we want will want us back.

The best thing we can do is continue being us and hope, one day, someone will see us as more than a rebound.