You probably clicked on this article because, in the back of your head, you know you're considering breaking up with the person you're dating.
In fact, you might even feel guilty for reading this (even though you shouldn't).
You keep holding yourself back from actually following through with a breakup because you have feelings you're not ready to give up, regardless of how you have been treated.
Trust me, I've been there. Although I am not an expert, I have been through plenty of ups and downs in my relationships. I recently got out of a relationship myself because I knew I had to for my own sake.
I do not know anything about the details of your relationship and I am not trying to act like I do.
However, if you're considering breaking up with your partner, I hope I can help to make your decision a little easier and give you some peace of mind.
Here are some reasons it might be time for you to move on:
1. You're asking for attention and affection.
First and foremost, let me say this: You should never have to look for evidence that the other person likes you.
It should be clear. Nor should you ever have to earn love from the person you're dating.
You are lovable and valuable, simply because you are here. Love from your significant other should be freely given. It should never have to be begged for or asked for.
2. You can't be your true self.
Are you constantly trying to make yourself more "pleasing" for the person you're with?
Although I think it's important to want to impress the person you're dating, you shouldn't feel that way all the time.
Accept, love and be yourself. Stop watering yourself down and diminishing who you are to make the other person comfortable.
It's not a solid relationship if you can't ask for what you want/need, or can't simply be yourself without fear the other person will leave you.
Your SO should be the individual with whom you feel most comfortable. You deserve to feel how you are feeling without apologizing, resisting or excusing.
3. S/he doesn't invite you anywhere.
If someone wants you around, he or she should be proud to bring you places. Please remember your friendship, love, time and company are gifts, not burdens, and deserve to be treated that way.
Alone time and time with friends is very important. You're supposed to have a full life outside of your relationship.
However, if your partner is consistently keeping you separate from other aspects of your life, that's a red flag.
You should want to experience things with the person you're dating. Otherwise, how are you supposed to grow?
4. You keep trying to "fix" your significant other.
You keep making excuses for your partner's actions. You have to date the person, not his or her potential.
Otherwise, you're wasting precious moments of happiness focusing on what “could be” instead of the reality of what is.
Yes, every relationship is different and will require some change in both parties, but no relationship that is truly meant to be will require so much work. It's not fair to either of you.
5. Your relationship is one-sided.
People will always be willing to go out of their way, sacrifice and make the effort for things that are important to them.
If someone claims to love you, but his or her actions don't reflect it, he or she does not love you.
Love is shown through action, not simply words. Actions say what words won't.
A person can say he or she loves to garden, but if his or her plants aren't properly tended to, the garden will die. Think about your relationship: Who is tending the garden? Is it mutual?
It's exhausting to give 100 percent of yourself to a person who only gives you 20 percent in return. You deserve to be just as much of a priority as you make your partner.
A relationship is a two-way street.
6. You have to convince yourself you're happy.
Are you happy with your relationship? How long did it take you to think about that question?
Don't keep someone around who leaves you feeling exhausted and depleted every day. Friendship and love should be sources of joy, not stress.
If you have to sit and think if you love your partner, you probably don't; rather, you like the idea of him or her.
Just because you think of a person a certain way doesn't mean that's how he or she is. If most of your time is spent trying to "make things work," it's not worth it.
I read a quote once that said, "If you find something good, hold onto it. If you have to convince yourself that it's good every day, let it go."
At the end of the day, regret nothing. Time spent with the wrong person can sometimes bring about the right things. Although it's scary, sometimes you need to run away to see who is running with you.
In my case, when I broke up with my boyfriend, he just let me go, and that was all the reassurance I needed.
Realizing I deserved better was the first step to receiving it. It's better to have nobody than to have someone who is halfway there, or doesn't want to be there.
Don't hold on to someone who doesn't deserve you, or stay in a place that causes you more pain than joy.
Will it be hard? Yes! But it's better to have some temporary pain than a lifetime of being stuck somewhere you know you don't belong.
You can care about someone, forgive someone, want good things for someone, and still move on without him or her.
You don't lose anything when you let go of someone who doesn't care for you the way you deserve; you gain back who you are.
I've said this is an another article before, and I will say it again now: You don't have to have romantic love in your life to have love in your life. Open your eyes to the beautiful world all around you.
Romantic love will come in due time.
"The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself." — Carrie Bradshaw