You're getting drinks with your guy friend when he brings up the lines we've all heard a million times: “Nice guys finish last” and “women love jerks.”
You may roll your eyes, agree with him or passionately refute his statement. I think we're looking at this all wrong, though. I think there needs to be a clear line with guys who have good intentions vs. guys that just come off as nice.
I'm here to explain why nice guys finish last and why women love assholes.
1. Nice guys think they can get away with more — with jerks, what you see is what you get.
For some reason, being a “nice guy” means you can get away with anything. You don't have to pick up the tab because you're nice most of the time.
You don't have to tell your girlfriend she's beautiful because she knows she's pretty. Boys (not men) use the excuse of being a nice guy to avoid any sort of gesture.
2. Good guys don't chase — jerks pursue you.
If you want to be with a girl, you have to pursue her. Call her and ask her on a date. The grand gesture to leave the friend zone is necessary.
I have yet to see a “nice guy” do this. You're not going to meet anyone if you never introduce yourself. Guys at bars tend to cower in the corner and wonder why no girls approach them.
Jerks tend to have more confidence. They don't play games like stare at you all night at the bar and never actually talk to you.
They walk straight up to you and introduce themselves and make sure your hand is never empty the rest of the night. You need to show some initiative.
3. Nice guys pretend — jerks show you their true colors.
In my dating experience, self proclaimed "nice guys" have made me feel worse than jerks. When you're dating a nice guy, you assume he will treat you well, but they don't.
They use excuses to not treat you like you deserve. You're taken aback and when you thought everything was going well, they break up with you for a reason that puts the blame on you.
If you're with a jerk you're prepared for what he is going to do. When it's over with a jerk you know exactly why -- because they were transparent from the beginning and you already saw it coming.
You're aren't left with a million questions about what you did wrong.
4. Nice guys turn you against your friends — friends come together to hate the jerk.
Your friends might actually stay friends with this nice guy because they think he really was such a good guy.
The good guy gets close to your friends to make himself the martyr of the relationship when things eventually go south.
Your friends are shocked when you break up. When you're with a jerk, your friends get excited for his departure. The asshole showed only you his emotional side, so your relationship stays between the two of you.
It works out nicely when you break up with an asshole because no one liked him in the first place.
And you won't find out months later your friends have been liking the asshole's Instagram pictures with his new girlfriend.
5. Good guys are lackluster — jerks are flashy.
Jerks know they are jerks and know they have to make up for it.
They are eager to please and surprise you all the time with their generosity. And this isn't limited to material generosity. Jerks will continue to take charge in the bedroom.
Nice guys should be approached with the same caution you would have for a jerk. I'm not saying you should date a jerk. I'm just simply explaining why they get the girl.
Don't let a guy's persona fool you.
**This article was originally published on ReadUnwritten.com