Everyone knows there is a list of things you should avoid talking about on the first few dates with a new person, in order to stop them running for the exit or ghosting you after the check is paid.
Topics like politics, religion and money can be viewed as taboo or just major buzzkills. But what about the topic of marriage or, dare I say it, kids? Is that something that should only be chatted about when things get serious, dating apps are deleted and Facebook relationship statuses are made official?
No. Well, only if you want to potentially waste your time with the wrong person who is on a totally different life path. Think this sounds crazy? Already rolling your eyes at the thought of bringing up marriage on dates one through three? Well, here are three true reasons why you totally should.
1. You don't want to waste your time.
If you're someone who 100 percent wants to get married then you need to find out if the person you're dating feels the same. Obviously it is way too early to tell if the person you've been on three dates with is the one you want to marry unless you're a love-at-first-sight kind of gal, but either way, it's important to find this out.
Your date could be the kind of person who swears off marriage or wants to be a serial bachelor the rest of their life. Or maybe you're like that and you're sitting across from someone who has plans to get married in 2017 and they barely care who it's to, as long as they do it.
2. The third date is a good time for a serious chat.
Dates one and two are all about fun and witty banter that can be funny and flirtatious. Aside from what you do for work and maybe a little insight into your family, the convo is usually pretty light.
Break the barrier by date three with topics that matter a bit more and help you understand someone's character, goals and even their life plan a little bit more.
3. It'll make everything smoother in the future.
Sure, if you bring up the idea of marriage out of nowhere, you'll totally freak the other person out. So only mention it if it comes up. If you're talking about how all your friends are getting married and having babies, you can casually ask their opinion on all of this. That's a lot smoother than playing a game of 20 questions about their plans on getting married in the future.
Either way, marriage is a topic that should be talked about early on. You want to avoid getting into a relationship with someone and wondering why they haven't popped the question, only to find out they never will. They may have no plans to if they view marriage as old school or irrelevant.
Talk about the hard-hitting stuff early on and then decide if you want to stick around or get the heck out of there.