Indian women are truly one of a kind.
Every now and then, it can get tough for us; we must assimilate into American culture seamlessly, while simultaneously staying true to aspects of our native Hinduism. Still, it's this balance we are somehow gracefully able to maintain, which makes us so damn special.
So, without further ado, here are 10 reasons why you should date an Indian girl.
1. We're naturally tan.
White girls go tanning to look like us, and come out of the tanning salon looking like clementines. We have that natural bronze glow.
2. We can put on awesome faux accents.
Say no more if you have an ex you want to mess with or parents who recently cut you off; we'll take care of it. We'll prank call whoever has been messing with you and pretend to be an Indian take-out restaurant with our legit-sounding accents.
"Thank you, come again."
3. One Indian wedding equals five American weddings, and then some.
Does your wedding involve the groom riding in on an elephant? No? How about four separate, over-the-top ceremonies commemorating the bride and groom? I didn't think so.
4. Hair salons pay Indian women to use their hair.
Indian women have some of the most luscious hair amongst all types of women across the world. This past summer, I cut off 10 inches of my hair, which a hair salon then used to make a wig.
5. We have the stomachs and taste buds of champions.
We were raised eating food made from the hottest indigenous spices in the world. Our taste buds have become impervious to American spices; Tabasco ain't got nothin' on us.
6. We can make a killer chai tea.
I'm a Starbucks gold card member and I would still take an Indian-style chai made at home over a Starbucks chai latte any day.
A typical homemade chai is made with cinnamon sticks, some fresh ginger, a dash of masala spice or dry mix, and a black tea of your choice, like Darjeeling. Oh, and a lot of love. (You're welcome for the recipe).
7. Our country invented yoga.
Lululemon will continue to make overpriced, trendy, stretchy pants and Equinox will continue to charge asinine prices for yoga classes.
Still, fact remains that despite these attempts to commercialize yoga, it was founded in a Hindu context millions of years ago, with the goal of introspection through a lens of divinity.
Um, need I say more?
9. Family is everything to us.
We value our parents' opinions more than those from any other culture. In fact, we value them so much so, that in our native homeland, Indians still put up with arranged marriages and they're okay with it because Mom and Dad know best.
In our culture, you'll find a traditionally-rooted respect for elders that you won't find anywhere else.
Bollywood is Hollywood on acid — in the best possible way. A typical Indian film features a clichéd story about two lovers who want to be together, but for whatever reason, they cannot be.
The film will feature five to 10 musical numbers, which will include the lovers running up and down mountains in colorful outfits. Alongside goats.
Disclaimer: A Bollywood film is best viewed under the influence, and make sure to opt for subtitles.
So, to all of the men out there, don't be afraid of us; we don't bite. Unless you're intimidated by our awesomeness, in which case, I totally understand.