I'd Rather Be Single Than Try To Find Love On A Dating App

by Kelly Nelson
Susana Ramírez

I'll bet you know more than a few people who have multiple dating apps on their phone right now. Tinder, Bumble and OkCupid are just a few of the dating apps available right now, and I'd be lying if I said I haven't looked into all of them. There's no shame in online dating; it's been around for a long time, but now smartphones have made them more convenient and readily accessible.

I've always felt conflicted about dating apps; I think they have both good and bad qualities to them. They give introverted, shy people an opportunity to try a new tactic at dating, since going up to random people and flirting in a bar isn't exactly their forte. It also can give people a boost of confidence since these dating apps are obviously based on appearance. (I can't tell you how many girls I know who use these dating apps as a game to "make them feel pretty.")

However, the more I started to use dating apps, the more I realized they were so not right for me. I found my time consumed by my smartphone. I was avoiding the world around me in hopes I was going to find my next boyfriend. I felt confused when I would match with a guy, we would message a few times back and forth and then I would get ghosted the next day. Hell, I've even been stood up when I took the chance to actually meet a guy in person for a drink.

The more negative my experiences got, the more I realized my love life is worth more than a dating app. I don't want to tell my grandchildren that their grandfather and I had love at first swipe.

In my experience, dating apps are hollow, shallow and time-consuming ways for people to look for love. They're a way for people to set ridiculously high standards that they could never expect in person. I can't tell you how many profiles I've seen that say things like, "Say something to make me laugh," "Don't bother swiping right if you don't like ______" or something along those lines.

What is it about dating apps that gives people the confidence to shut someone down before even exchanging a hello?

Call me a hopeless romantic, but I'm still waiting for that guy I'll bump into at the coffee shop one morning. I'm still waiting for that guy who finds my sarcasm charming and adorable, or the guy who likes the fact I go to the gym with no makeup on. There's nothing wrong with waiting. I'm having fun in the process, and I know dating apps won't match me with a guy who would turn into my future husband.

Dating apps are fun to try out, and if you're interested in seeing what's out there, then definitely give them a go. However, don't let them dictate your dating life. Don't let that jerk who ghosted you get you down; he's obviously not worth your time.

Enjoy being single. There's nothing wrong with waiting for that quick meeting in the grocery store that makes you weak in the knees.

The more time you spend looking for love on your phone, the less time you spend looking for love around you. We get so hung up on who we are on social media that we forget who we are as people.

Don't let your online persona change your real-life persona. Open yourself up to the real world. There are billions of people out there, and chances are, you'll feel better if you meet them without the swipe of your finger.