How Rain Dove And Her Girlfriend Went From An Open Relationship To Monogamy

by Candice Jalili
Kylah Benes-Trapp

Sierra Jimenez, 27, was a reporter assigned to follow androgynous model, Rain Dove, 27, around to casting calls for two weeks.

As far as the possibility of a relationship went, the cards were stacked up pretty high against them. Rain was in an open relationship and already involved with multiple people.

Meanwhile, Sierra was determined to keep their relationship as professional as possible and not get involved in Rain's messy love life.

That all being said, their connection was undeniable. Even if love wasn't in the cards for them right at that moment, the two decided that they would settle on being just friends.

But they could only put off finding Love IRL for so long…

The first kiss

Sierra: It wasn't until two weeks after the project that we even kissed. We were drunk. We went to go get brunch, and it was a long brunch that turned into afternoon lunch. It was just the two of us. We were friends at this point. We were at Redhead, do you remember?

Rain: [silence]

S: [laughs] I was the one who made the move. We would be a little flirtatious, and there were a lot of times when, because she also lived in Brooklyn, we would get in a cab together, and she would fall asleep on my lap.

R: I remember our first time going home together. We were kind of tipsy because we had gone out and had some drinks, and I laid my head down on her lap, and I was like, “This is snuggle space!” We hadn't even kissed yet [laughs].

We were very, very comfortable physically. But I wanted to be careful about kissing her because I knew I was dating a couple of people.

S: So I kissed her. We were both really drunk, and we were on these bar stools. She was in the middle of talking, and I just kissed her.

I'm cool with dating multiple people, but I'm not cool with feeling anything for any of those people.

R: Oh, I do remember this! [laughs] The bar stool thing! That just kicked in.

S: [laughs] Yeah, so we kissed, and then, we both pulled back, and I think we both realized that the line had been crossed. And then, after that, I don't even think we had sex for the next couple of weeks after that.

R: [laughs] We were just makin' out and hangin' out.

S: To be honest, my hesitation was two things. First of all, she was dating multiple people, and I'm cool with dating multiple people, but I'm not cool with feeling anything for any of those people.

Also, I was looking to leave my job at the time, and I didn't want to rock the boat more than I was already. I was planning on leaving, and I didn't want people knowing I was dating someone who I covered in a story. It was just a weird thing. I think I had a little more hesitation in that.

R: But she made the first kiss move! I'm just gonna put it out there. I was trying to be careful, walking around it, innocent, sweet [laughs].

S: I was drunk.

R: That [the kiss] is when things got real. Then, I knew that it would not be fair because there were definitely the feels. And not just the emotional feels but just the “I feel really comfortable with this person” feels.

Making it official

Rain's polyamorous partner ended things with her Thanksgiving day after she got increasingly jealous of her relationship with Sierra.

Then, Rain had one last woman leftover in London whom she had to end things with before she could give herself wholly to Sierra.

S: She needed to burn kind of a lot of bridges at that point.

R: Yeah, December was the month of cleaning everything up.

S: I didn't actually know that, but I also didn't want to jump into anything like, “OK, now you're done with this one, so now, let's be monogamous." That just didn't seem healthy to me.

So she was with me for about a week and a half, and we decided that I would go out there [London] for the New Year holiday, and it was mostly just prepping for whatever the next stage was in her career. I had just started a new job.

R: There were a lot of new beginnings for both of us.

S: The night that she left, we had dinner before I sent her off to the airport. And I asked, “So we haven't really talked about this, and I was just wondering, while you're gone, are we seeing other people?”

And we never really answered it. I think her exact words were, “Let's just talk about it when we're back. I want to be with you, and you want to be with me, so let's choose to have that. But let's wait until I'm back to really do it.”

I want to be with you, and you want to be with me, so let's choose to have that.

R: I just needed to clean up my house and make sure that I was completely free and clear of people chasing after me. It was really hard for me because I really want to keep most people in my life.

And Sierra never told me I had to get rid of the person in London, but she was like, “I want to date someone who doesn't have somebody who's a potential back-up option.” 

S: I didn't know that before getting to London. I didn't know about the other girl.

R: I was hoping that everything would be kind of resolved before then, and it took a little longer than I anticipated. It was definitely my first ever douchey move [laughs]. I just didn't want to put more on her plate. For me, it was a really big lesson about being upfront, even when it hurts.

S: It wasn't until after the New Year that we were monogamous.

R: When I got back from London, Sierra was like OK, clean slate. Let's do it. And we've really had a pretty solid, amazing relationship since then.

S: Yeah, I would say it wasn't until the New Year that we were monogamous. There was a lot of talking about it. And I think it was hard because we had already been through so much because she was in an open dynamic, and I knew that there were a lot of loose ends.

But I guess I thought the original girl here [in America] was the last loose end, so it was a little surprising to have another one in London that I just didn't even know about. But, of course, I'm sassy, so I was like, “You've got hoes in different area codes?!” I was SO upset.

R: [laughs] It's not easy to talk to this one when she's upset.

S: I was so upset. But it was also one of those things where we realized what we both actually wanted was each other. And we just both needed to stop fucking around and do it. It was the only way to actually test it out. We just had to do it.

THE END. Thanks for sharing, Rain and Sierra!