I don't know about you, but for me, the hardest part of online dating isn't the matching, or even the actual dating. It's what happens in between: The messaging. Sometimes it flows and feels natural, but other times... yikes. The struggle is real. To keep the conversation interesting (and kickstart it again if it ever starts to stall out), I’ve learned that it’s important to have a few go-to questions to ask on Bumble. That way, a lack of conversation inspiration won’t mean losing a potential match.
I know, I know. It’s tempting to go the simple route. Questions like “How’s your weekend?” or “What are you up to?” come to mind. But, according to Clare O’Connor, Bumble’s Head of Editorial Content, brainstorming some creative Bumble messages, especially questions, is worth the effort. When it comes to keeping your conversations lively, she recommends “tak[ing] a cue from their profile.” O’Connor explains, “It can be as simple as noticing a photo of your connection playing Scrabble and offering to take them on sometime in a virtual game, or seeing that they’re a fan of Tex-Mex and chiming in with your personal favorite taco spot in your city.”
Even if you can’t bond over tacos, you can still find other ways to make the conversation more interesting. “If their profile isn't providing much inspiration, you can put the ball in their court but still keep the tone breezy by asking them to share their three most frequently used emojis,” she suggests. But there’s a caveat: “Make sure to share yours first to break the ice!” IRL conversations are about give and take, and virtual convos are no different.
So on dating apps, don’t be reluctant to put yourself out there. Chances are, the person on the other side of the conversation will be happy that you're taking the conversation in a unique direction. Plus, by keeping the questions fun and interesting, the questions will feel more flirtatious and less like a job interview. Plus, they can help you weed out the meaningful connections from the ones that fall flat.
And this advice is coming straight from Bumble. “Personalized and thoughtful responses can go a long way when creating that initial bond with someone new,” another rep explains. “It could be as simple as chatting about a shared passion or interest based on what a person shares on their profile, but that spark will ultimately help move the connection beyond the ‘getting to know you’ phase.”
Having a few tried-and-true Bumble questions in your back pocket can a fun, helpful way to find out if someone really is a good match for you. It can even give you a better understanding of their beliefs and values, which are also pretty important. Like, if someone hates cats, I need to know that from the jump so I can peace out before we meet face to face. (Sorry, not sorry, but not loving cats is a dealbreaker for me.) Best of all, it takes what could be an awkward, stressful part of dating apps and makes it actually enjoyable.
So, the next time you’re chatting it up with a cutie and sense an awkward silence coming on, try playing a round or two of the Bumble question game to get the conversation back on track. Here are some questions to get you started:
- What is your love language?
- What’s your go-to comfort food?
- Among your friends, what are you most known for?
- What would you do on a rainy Sunday?
- What's something you're currently obsessed with?
- What's something you are you weirdly competitive about?
- How do you feel about pets?
- What's something you are you weirdly competitive about?
- What's your ultimate comfort food?
- Would you rather bring a book or a speaker to the beach?
- What's your ideal Saturday night?
- What's your ideal Sunday morning?
- What show do you love rewatching?
- When you were a kid, what was your ultimate dream job?
- If you won the lottery tomorrow, what would be the first three things you would do?
- Would you rather listen to music or a podcast on a long car ride?
- What daredevil thing do you most want to try? Or have you already tried it?
- What's the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?
- How do you like to relax?
- What's something new that you've tried for the first time recently? Did you like it?
- What's the weirdest fun fact you know? Extra points for awkwardness.
- Very important question, so think carefully. What is the best Netflix series and why?
- What's the funniest TV commercial of all time?
- What's your worst roommate story ever?
- What's your most bizarre talent or skill?
- If you were going to start a YouTube channel, what would it be about?
- What's your go-to karaoke song?
- If you could choose to relive one day, what would it be and why?
- What’s your opinion on brunch? Yay or nay?
- If you could give yourself a nickname and people had to call you it, what would it be?
- What never fails to make you laugh?
- Who was your childhood celebrity crush?
- How do you prefer to be kissed? Slow and tender, or hard and passionately?
- What’s the best date you’ve ever been on? The worst?
- Who is your dream date (besides me)?
- What about my profile made you decide to swipe right?
- What’s your go-to first date, and when are we going on it?
- What’s one assumption you have about me based on my profile?
- What’s one thing about you that would surprise me? The more scandalous, the better.
- If you could give the entire world advice and they had to take it, what would it be?
- What was the most amazing adventure you've ever gone on?
- If you could have any job in the world, and money wasn't an issue, what would your career be?
- What's something your parents don't know about you?
- What fictional character do you hope you are most like? Which one are you afraid you're actually like?
- Are there any causes you are really passionate about?
- What's your greatest accomplishment that you are most proud of?
- Do you have a favorite quote?
- What's something that impresses you about other people?
- What's your best friend’s favorite thing about you?
- \What's something you've always wanted to learn how to do?
The key to asking questions on Bumble is to get the person thinking and engaged, but also to ask questions that actually give you a chance to get to know who the person on the other side of the screen is. Just make sure to save a few of these for when you do go on that first face-to-face date. Remember, you’re looking for a partner, not a pen pal.
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