6 Reasons Why You Should Change The Game And Make The First Move On Him

by Emily Rekstis

When it comes to dating, it seems that the brunt of the work falls on men. Typically, they’re the ones who make the first moves, plan the dates and follow up for seconds.

Why is this the norm, though?

If you know he’s what you want, go for it. Why should you have to wait for him to figure out that you’re what he wants, too? Life moves too fast to sit around and wait. We can’t control others, so there’s no use in trying.

Now’s the time to provoke your inner Samantha Jones and go for the guy you want. For some inspiration and a little push, just listen to a few reasons why pursuing him is not only worth it, but also a better way to survive the dating world.

He’s To YOUR Standards

Every woman has dated a guy who was really into her, even though she wasn’t that into him. You two dated because he was good to you; it was effortless and you had nothing to lose. Ultimately, however, how well did that work out for anyone involved?

Those relationships were just short-term fillers for me; however, the guy I wanted and pursued became the one with whom I had a meaningful relationship. I knew he was my type because I was the one who made our connection happen.


Fact: Men love confidence. It’s one of the sexiest qualities that a woman can possess. So, when you use that sexy quality to go after him, it’s basically a man’s blissful paradise.

You immediately become the woman a man takes seriously because you don’t necessarily need him. You just want him and are willing to take what you want. Independent, bold, sexy and feminine is not such a bad first impression to emanate, now is it?


I do not mean this in the manipulative, who-wears-the-pants-in-the-relationship, power-play way. Rather, I mean that you should control the fact that you are taking control of your own love life, based on what you want.

You aren’t sitting around, waiting for the guy to make the move because you knew that you already wanted him. Why waste your precious time waiting for him to figure it out?

If you don’t base any of your other actions on what other people think, why should it be any different when it comes to dating? Having control of a vulnerable situation leads to the next reason of why you should pursue him.


What’s more empowering than defying expected social standards for your own good, as a woman? Though women have been pushing standards for years, we still have a long way to go.

Make pursuing him the next miniscule step for the larger good. It really is a win-win when you empower the female gender while grabbing a date with your ideal man. Female empowerment plus a hot date equals the dream.


When you take control of a situation you aren’t necessarily expected to control, you are just demanding a sense of respect. Not only are you getting respect from him, but also from yourself.

You will immediately feel better when you are the one who’s calling the shots in your own life. Even if the feelings aren’t necessarily reciprocated, you will find solace in knowing that you did what is best for you.


Sure, you are taking control of the situation, but technically, you are placing the ball in his court by giving him the yes or no response. And, that’s okay! Great, even.

Vulnerability is an important trait that a lot of women tend to dismiss in order to protect themselves. No one likes feeling vulnerable; it feels weak. However, the risk makes the reward that much sweeter.

Photo Courtesy: Emanuele Ferrari