6 Promises You Need To Make To Yourself Before You Can Find Love

by Michael Matarlo

The paradoxical thing about love is the fact that you don't need another person to experience its embrace. But yet, without another person, you can't fully feel it.

I have observed that very few people have the true understanding of what it means to willingly live and breathe in this mysterious and wondrous paradox. Relationships are one of the most complex topics ever discussed.

If you're tired of saying, “Be honest with me” or exhausted of “giving it up” before he or she actually thinks of developing a connection with you, then it's time to free yourself. As a hopeful romantic, here are six promises I have made to myself over time:

1. Promise to never lose who you are for someone else.

Relationships are the grandest opportunities to provide life's highest realization of one's self. Tragically, oftentimes we find that someone else's interests have become our interests. We try to find ourselves in someone else.

The problem — which I myself have been in — is we give up most of who we are in the hopes that it will save the relationship. However, that only worsens the issues. Be with someone who makes you feel like yourself.

2. Promise to never try to control the other person.

No one likes being told what he or she can or can't do or see. Underneath all the worries of “I'm just not comfortable” or “I'm just looking out for you” is the deep fear and truth that your significant other can and will leave if he or she chooses to.

By fully accepting this fear and promising you can put trust in your SO, you can be secure with each other. Be with someone who doesn't limit you or hold you back.

3. Promise to be all in, no matter what.

There are days of hurt, miscommunication, incomparable joy and laziness. Regardless of your relationship, promising to be all in should give you a solid foundation and sense of certainty.

When most people get into relationships, they have this “you get what you give” mentality. Isn't a relationship the one thing you look forward to?

Isn't it always more than you thought it would be? Be with someone who always has you on his or her mind.

4. Promise to be selfless.

It is very easy to focus on your needs and what you want from the relationship. But it's important that your significant other feels comfortable enough to be his or her self around you. He or she should be able to communicate what he or she needs.

Just simply being there is all a relationship needs. Be with someone who has your best interests at his or her heart and mind.

5. Promise to never forget the little things.

After a certain point, you will get comfortable around your SO, and that's OK. Guys want and need to know you still love and are attracted toward them, as do women.

Never stop trying to win his or her heart. Surprises are never forgotten.

Remember to touch each other sensually to show appreciation. Joke around.

Compliments go a long way. Ultimately, be with someone who makes you feel loved.

6. Promise yourself that love is never going to be a guarantee.

Love is not a guarantee, but it is a promise. It's a promise for an opportunity to create something no one else will share. When you don't get the love you feel you deserve, remember love is free and unlimited.

Love will always be unique when you choose to share it with one person. Love is never the same with everyone.

It will never be a guarantee. Be with someone who doesn't take you for granted.