The Scientific Reason Playing Hard To Get Actually Works On Most People

by Alexa Mellardo

When it comes to dating, many of us shuffle the cards and play the game.

We just can’t help ourselves… the chase can be an addiction.

Playing hard to get is a flirtatious, natural, fun, sometimes difficult and intimidating course of attack.

Although some believe today’s dating game is challenging (OK, outright frustrating), we can’t seem to get enough of it.

Cat-and-mouse is a natural high in the dating scene, and the rules of playing hard to get seem to be as follows: A gal or guy feels inclined to give off a somewhat "uninterested" vibe.

It’s a masterful display that says “I’m desirable” without appearing to be an easy catch.

It is exhilarating when your suitor works for your attention; after all, nothing absolutely spectacular was ever easily accessible. And both the chase and catch feel good!

A “hard to get” player is never too quick to text or call back; there is always excitement when one craves more.

The player likes to appear busy, create intrigue and keep ‘em guessing.

Working the confidence trump card shows you have your priorities in line and know what you want. Pulling it out of the deck and revealing it at the right time is just plain old attractive.

A player will smartly have a game plan, and will hopefully play it fairly.

Obviously, a backup plan is always a smart idea. Even the best of plans can backfire.

Playing hard to get can provide the opportunity for both parties to observe and determine if there is potential for a serious relationship, or if the other person is just looking for a meaningless hookup and booty call.

Lastly, when playing hard to get, we want to win… and when we’re done, we plan on winning some more.

The offer and acceptance creates a rush like no other.

So, players: Align your cards and reveal your best hand because it’s time to understand the science behind playing hard to get.

Does playing hard to get actually work, or do we just do it for the rush?

Researchers studied the question: "When does playing hard to get increase romantic attraction?"

The study involved two experiments to find out how playing hard to get influences certain situations.

Males were asked to participate in speed dating or to read a theoretical date scenario.

Below is the proof from the study that playing hard to get actually works, and if you learn how to play the game right you will be quite successful.

Hard to get will only pan out when interest has already been detected, even if it is a slight interest.

People who played hard to get landed the date or relationship over those who made it too easy.

Players who appeared "interested" during the date and committed in conversation were perceived as appealing, but also considered easy conquests.

Individuals who came across as disinterested, however, seemed fascinating to suitors because they appeared more difficult to get, and peaked curiosity.

When you make it a bit harder for a suitor to get your attention, you are perceived as having greater value as a partner, and the challenge is a turn-on.

It was thereby found that playing hard to get can absolutely increase attraction.

According to eHarmony, surveys reveal women and men should both play hard to get.

Playing makes women seem cautious when picking a partner. It prevents us from simply settling for anyone.

Gals increase the possibility of starting a relationship by upholding their standards.

A study focusing on men found that women are generally drawn to guys when they did not know where they fell on the rating scale.

That sexy sense of mystery a man creates when playing hard to get makes women more intrigued.

According to NBC, studies have determined playing hard to get results in meeting a "long-term" partner and establishing a committed relationship.

Another experiment revealed if you’re a woman who’s not looking for a relationship, but rather casual sex, there is no benefit to playing hard to get.

Interestingly, a survey determined that when someone does not appear to be so available, the more likely a potential partner will want to spend time and money on them.

Some things to keep in mind…

Cat-and-mouse play is all fun and games until someone gets hurt.

Whenever there are emotions involved, you risk the chance of someone being more invested than the other.

If you are planning on walking the walk and talking the talk with playing hard to get, do it with class.

It should be fun for both sides and is never (in any situation) attractive to be stuck up.

Even if you are the one playing hard to get, you may fall… hard.

Go into the game knowing it may not turn out the way you planned.

Play wisely, play fair and have fun!