There is so much I want to say, but don't. I understand why you don't have the capacity to deal with a relationship right now. But there are some things which can never be left unsaid, and here I am pouring out my heart to you hoping you'll read it someday.
I know we're in the pursuit of achieving something amazing and big in life professionally, something that'll leave a mark even after we die. But in the process, we have lost each other and that is something I've always been scared of. Your career will follow you through and you'll be a star at what you do, but in the meantime, don't sideline me like I'm nobody.
Five years ago, I left a good and loving man for you only because I realized I had finally fallen in love with someone. It was true love, and I could see us being the great love I had always dreamt of.
Sometimes you just know when you've met your soulmate. You are my soulmate in every sense. I may have different personality types, and be completely opposite, but we're the same at heart.
When I'm with you, it feels like the everything fits. The world doesn't suck, time goes by super fast and we have the best time together. I wouldn't and I cannot give that up for anything in this world. I know it's hard for you to respond to so much love, but I know I will always be the one who will love more in the relationship and I'm OK with that, as long as I have you tell me every night that you love me back.
I don't know if you realized I've bent backward for you. You make me a better person. How do you let go of someone who makes you wiser, smarter, brings out all your creative juices and introduces you to you? I couldn't and I won't. I know its all messed up, love isn't everything and love doesn't pay the bills, but love can do a lot. It brings out the best and the worst in people.
We've had our share of fights and bad days, but who doesn't? Everybody does. There is one thing which we have and others don't: trust. I know for a fact you trust me as blindly as I trust you. We have never doubted our loyalties toward one another, despite of the distance and lack of proximity. This isn't something every relationship enjoys. Don't forget the things that matter.
I want to thank you for making me the person I thought I couldn't be. You literally introduced me to me, and I'll always cherish that. I'm sorry I couldn't be as inspiring for you. I tried to keep you going when you were down and confused in life, and I'm sorry I couldn't. But I promise to always be there for you. That sucks for me, but I'll take it anyway.
We made a pact, which we both hope to honor and fulfill. Our careers are important but so is love. I wish you'll realize sooner rather than later that this is just a temporary situation. Situations change, and you may realize that you let go of something amazing a little too soon.
"Grey's Anatomy" had an episode where Meredith Grey asks the love of her life to choose her and the line goes something like this, "I love you, in a really really big -- pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window -- unfortunate way that makes me hate you love you." So if you're ever at a crossroad, pick me. Choose me. Love me. I promise to love you at your best and worst.
I'm a goofball full of love, fluff and unicorns. You're my 11:11 and always will be. Your life problems will go away, but my love never will. You're my best friend and the love of my life. I can't and won't feel that way about anyone else. Please don't take this away from me.