The person whom you spend your life with should really be two things. This person should be your happiest, most memorable and favorite hello and – by far – your most difficult goodbye. He or she should be the person you could never forget meeting and the person you could not imagine letting go.
However, don’t be fooled into believing what pop culture has been trying to ingrain in you your entire life. The truth is that movies, TV shows and other stories exaggerate and make things much more grandiose than they are almost certainly going to turn out.
More likely than not, you’re not going to have a spectacular, clumsy, magical, unique first meeting. You’re almost certainly going to meet your true love the same way you've met any other person in your life – regularly.
People love fairy tales; they’re magical.
The romance is ideal and things come together as if destiny designed them that way. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a chick-flick. We live in a reality in which things are usually… plain. Your life is probably not especially exciting or adventurous.
Sure, you may have your moments, but don’t expect those moments to come at opportune times. Sure, you may meet the love of your life while literally bumping into each other in the middle of the street, spilling your coffee on him or her and then offering to buy another, as well as pay for the dry cleaning.
But more likely than not, especially when it comes to our generation, you’re going to meet the person you love at a bar. While intoxicated. While just trying to get into his or her pants and nothing more – or vice versa.
And that’s okay; the truth is that it doesn’t matter how the two of you meet, as long as the two of you meet.
I understand you are living in your story and want to make it as fascinating, magical and unbelievable as possible, but thinking this way may very well cause you to miss out on an amazing opportunity. As human beings, we judge everything.
Not just people or physical things, but situations and interactions as well. We judge the way we meet people just as much as we judge the people themselves.
We come into social interactions and relationships with expectations and/or early letdowns. How could you possibly fall for the girl or guy you’ve been having sex with for the last month… it's only a booty call, right?
It can be difficult to understand the way you feel about a person when you have so much judgment floating about in your head.
You don’t see things or people for what or who they are, but instead see them through a shaded lens. If you are expecting to meet the person you love in a moment that had to be fate, then you may be waiting for an especially long time.
We don’t meet too many people in our lives – sure, we may meet thousands, but in the grand scheme of things, that’s not that many. Don’t allow yourself to ruin something that could potentially be great simply because you imagined it being different.
It doesn’t make a difference how you meet the right person, just that you actually meet him or her. But how do you know that you’ve met the right one? Because every single day you wake up thinking about how grateful you are for having met this person.
You wake up and spend your day thinking about how much worse your life would have been if you hadn’t said hello in the subway, coffee shop or the next morning after you’d blacked out the night before. Moreover, the most frightening thing you could possibly imagine is having to say goodbye.
Love joins two individuals together in a way that nothing else does. It makes us feel as if this person is an extension of ourselves, a newly developed limb – one that we can’t imagine having lived without for so long. And definitely one that we don’t believe that we can now live without.
Love is a very complicated thing. Which stands to reason as people themselves are extraordinarily complicated. Nevertheless, if you are able to say goodbye – really say goodbye – and live your life with a smile on your face and a heart that’s still intact, then that person wasn’t right for you.
Common sense – I know. Yet, so many will come back and ponder over whether or not they made a mistake not having stuck out for a while longer.
You said goodbye forever. Forever isn’t yet over. Stop falling back into your comfort zone and find the person of your dreams whom you’ll meet in a very non-exciting way and never dare say goodbye to.
Photo Courtesy: The Sartorialist