Ladies, Perfection Is A Myth — And It's Not What Men Want

by Slater Katz

Who is the ideal woman?

She’s a pristinely groomed, doe-eyed fox with unrelenting class illuminating through her faultless exterior and mile-long legs. She bakes crisp apple pie and sings mellifluous tunes as she lathers her silky, frizz-resistant locks in her post-pilates shower.

During the day, she’ll make your parents swoon with gratitude and pride, but at night, she’ll shed her girl-next-door nature and morph into the seductive mistress that makes your toes curl.

Every man’s dream is her identifier; perfection is her nickname.

While we are stationed in a massively progressive era of robots and technology, most women’s concept of what men want is glued to a 50s past where it was a woman’s duty to be a submissive, porcelain accessory to the pompous male species.

This is not to say modern women feel the need to, nor should, sacrifice their independence and success to be a housewife. The point is that men ultimately do not want this idea of the ideal woman.

In a world where women fear a “single” status by 30 on Facebook and are constantly working to obtain equality in the workplace, the pressure to make men swoon is still a topic covered by every women’s magazine on the newsstand.

Invest in drugstore makeup and leave the flat iron stowed because not only is perfection a myth, it’s also not what men want. Playboy fetishes aside, an illusion of perfection is boring.

Imagine two grandmas: The grandma on your father’s side of the family only seeks to please those in her presence and nods to avoid the discomfort of conflict.

Now, imagine the Brooklyn-bred grandma from your mother’s side who has never accepted compliance as an answer. She's badgered you to stretch your opinions, whether you wanted to or not, since you were a middle school tween.

They are stark opposites producing parallel relationships. While grandma number two’s relentless inquisitiveness makes you dread family dinners, she’s always the hit of the party because her emotions make her real and unique.

While it may seem odd to compare grandmas to dating, the connection is there. Grandma number one, who restrains her emotional outbursts and opinions, is ultimately a bore (but sweet and kind, nonetheless), just like the girl who hides her emotions to reflect what she thinks the male mind seeks.

Grandma number two, who lets her flamboyance and emotions run free, is the person with whom you develop meaningful memories and an intellectual connection, just like the girl who shows her sassy side to her man.

Being emotional strengthens a relationship because it frees personalities that make each individual irresistible, interesting and obsession-worthy.

Grandma number one is a yes woman, while grandma number two is an oh-no-you-didn’t woman.

No is defined by a one-syllable word that deflates any potential to engage in stimulating conversation with underlying banter. It’s the ultimate conversation ender. Say no to yes.

A woman who only agrees with her man is as mundane as tap water. Where is the salt and electrolytes? A yes woman is a pleasant woman, but a no woman is a stimulating challenge a man must overcome.

So many outdated advice columns (written by women) suggest that being agreeable will make a man swoon based on your projected similarities. Disagreeing is frightening, but it’s interesting.

If you only passively comply with every opinion he has, the fire fades. It’s keeping that tense fire burning that will keep him on his toes.

Sometimes we forget that the whole point of being in a relationship is to make two lonely halves a whole. The person shouldn’t complete you; he should enhance you.

You won’t find security from a man; you can only find security in yourself. Seeking love and approval from a man will only morph your insecurities into a clingy bond and iPhone anxiety.

You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. If it’s love you so thoughtfully crave, the only way to find it is to be you -- imperfections and all.

Photo Courtesy: We Heart It