Why Do People Feel The Need To Be With Someone?

by Ally Batista

Generation Y is largely black and white. There are rarely any grey areas when it comes to the types of people in our age bracket. We’re liberal and conservative, apathetic and extreme, and content and rebellious.

This black and white nature can be applied to any situation when it comes to our individual beliefs, hopes and dreams, but I want to talk about one in particular. I’d like to focus on the issue of relationships. From what I have observed, it seems as if people our age are either completely against having a serious relationship or don't believe they can get through life without one.

Those who are against relationships tend to be considerably adamant about their preference and that’s that. You know that these people don’t want to be in a serious monogamous relationship and would rather spend their time as a young adult with a multitude of non-committed people.

That’s fine. I understand that. I personally disagree with this lifestyle, but if someone is against relationships and chooses not to be in one, who am I to try and convince them otherwise? What confuses me is the other group of people. The one's who crave a relationship.

I’m sure every single one of you has witnessed a female in our age group complain on some social media outlet that they’re single. They tweet something like “Eating ice cream while I watch movies #foreveralone”. These people are jealous of their friends who are in relationships, which is why they go out and literally prowl for men only to become upset to the point of tears when they end up alone at the end of the night.

Of course, this practice isn’t just limited to women. I’ve encountered plenty of 20-something year old men who pursue a relationship with every female they strike up a conversation with while out drinking with their friends. I’ve heard “I want a boyfriend/or girlfriend” from people my age so often, it’s starting to lose its value and get old.

I was in a relationship for three years, and when it ended, I have to admit, I really had no idea what to do with myself. I put so much time and effort into one person and then put so much emotion into memories of what I had that I could barely fathom the idea of being with someone else. However, I never became jaded from this relationship. I’m not that girl who suffers a break up and claims that they’re never going to be with someone again and so on and so forth.

I took that failed experience and learned from it. I’ll never regret one moment of those three years because they taught me so much about myself as a person and how I view the way other people treat me. Instead of sulking about being alone, I embraced it. I realized that I was very young during those three years and I would spend this newly single time of my life experiencing things I let pass me by when I was too busy being a girlfriend.

I never looked at others in a relationship and longed for what they had, I just learned how to be happy alone. It’s so easy. When I came to understand this new element of freedom, I can’t imagine why anyone would ever complain about being single.

The power to do whatever you want whenever you want? Who doesn’t want that? Why can’t men and women in our generation realize that all of this time they spend longing for a relationship is going to get them nowhere?

If you’re one of these people who longs for a relationship at this age, please let me give you some advice. Complaining you’re single or that you won't truly be happy until you find someone will not bring a relationship your way anytime soon.

Relationships have to come to you when you least expect it for them to work out. Now, after a considerable amount of single time, I’ve met someone and have begun another relationship, and it came out of nowhere. It was completely unexpected and that’s the way it has to happen for everyone.

Next time you want to long for a relationship, don’t. Take those emotions and channel them into something positive. Go out and do something fun, don’t try and pick anyone up while you’re out and just spend the night laughing with your friends.

Stay in and watch movies you love alone on the couch for a night. You’re young, so embrace it. I guarantee that your relationship will come quicker than you thought, as long as you stop anticipating its arrival.

Ally | Elite. 

Photo Credit: Getty Images