How A Party Girl Knows She's Ready To Stay In And Settle Down

by Sandy Reitman

I’ve been going out for seven years straight in New York City. I’ve been to every bar, club, party, speakeasy and rooftop this city has to offer.

I’ve closed dive bars, and I’ve partied with celebrities. I’ve been to warehouse raves and fashion shows. I’ve ordered everything off Seamless and gone to the best restaurants in the city.

I still love to go out, but I’m craving a night in.

It’s true what they say -- you can’t recover as easily as you get older. You somehow need less sleep but can’t stay out as late.

It’s weird how much your body changes from ages 20 to 30. I, like many other ignorant 20-somethings, figured that wouldn’t happen to me because I can go HARD.

Speaking of hard, I’ve become a total cynic on love. I’m jaded and guarded and every other cliché adjective of a single girl.

I could go into all the things that have happened to me in my dating life to make me this way, but it’s pretty much the same old story: choosing the wrong guys and not giving the good guys a chance.

I’ve become closed off to the idea of a relationship and focused only on the pursuit of doing only the things I want to do in life. I haven’t made room for someone else.

But, here I am, 29 and single and so not ready to mingle anymore. I’m so over the chase and the game, the tease and the disappointment. For someone who always said she’d wait until she was 30 to really settle down, I might actually be right about something for once.

I’ve been called many things: the party girl, the girl about town, the life of the party, the “cool girl,” but I think, now, I want to be called a girlfriend.

How and when did this happen? It can’t be purely based on age and the approaching cuffing season, can it? Did I finally live out most of my young dreams and aspirations? Am I now ready to share them with someone else?

Here are a few signs I’ve noticed that have me feeling like I’m ready for a relationship:

I’m done dating someone who doesn’t want to get serious.

F*ck you, noncommittal guys. When you say you don’t want something serious, you just don’t want to get serious with ME. Every girl knows that when you say it.

It’s the new age curse of people always looking for “something better.” Well, you know what? I am SOMETHING BETTER, and I’m going to find someone who sees that -- and sees it right away.

I want to share a bed with the same person.

I always preferred to sleep alone. Now, I wake up curling next to my pillows wishing it was someone I could talk to at annoyingly early hours of the morning. I make my family and friends share the bed with me, even when there are open ones in my apartment.

I’m even starting to prefer to stay the night with a one-night stand just to have that feeling of someone next to me.

I want to cook for someone and have someone cook for me all the time.

Like I mentioned before, I’ve eaten my way through all this city has to offer, and while some of it is great, nothing tastes as good as a home-cooked meal.

Cooking is such a sign of sharing warmth and love. As much as I love it when my roommates cook for me, I’d prefer it to be a sexy man who wants to f*ck before and/or after the aforementioned meal.

I want someone who will always text me.

I’ve tested this out with a few guys I’ve dated, and they’re not into it. They don’t feel the obligation of having to respond if I’m not someone serious they’re dating.

I want to wake up to some weird messages from my guy who went out the night before and was just thinking about me (you know, if he wasn’t in bed next to me already).

I want someone to do "those things" with when I don’t want to do them alone.

I do everything alone. I’m not afraid to do things by myself, but some things are better when you walk in with someone.

I want to go to concerts and know who that second ticket is going to. I want to try a cooking class and make fun of the other people in it with someone.

I want to go to the beach with someone who is on my level about day drinking and will agree to Uber home. I want someone to join me on a random weekend excursion and help me figure out the plans.

I want this all to be the same person, not whatever friend is available that day.

I want someone on my side.

I want to have someone to bitch about my family and friends to.

You know how that one friend always does that one thing to piss you off, but you can't really mention it to your other friends because it's bitchy? Well, I want someone else to notice and bitch about it with me.

If I'm being totally honest, part of me even wants to ditch some of my friends who have ditched me in the past for the guy they’re seeing. Bye Felicia!

I want to delete my dating app folder on my phone.

I’m so sick of Tinder profiles and swiping left. I want to be done, at least for a while. That is, unless we join some app to add a third into the mix and really spice it up…

I want a constant plus one.

I’m sick of being the single girl at birthdays, holidays and weddings. I’ve become so good at it, but I don’t want to be anymore.

I want to have to warn him of every awkward person he'll meet, and I want to be equally as nervous to meet all of the awkward people he knows. I want to get in the car and bitch about families to someone who isn’t my family.

As the resident single girl and independent woman, I think I’m finally OK with admitting, yes, I am ready to stay in (sometimes) and be in a relationship.