How Dating Someone Just Like You Can Truly Open Your Eyes
All of my past serious boyfriends have always been the complete opposite of me. They have been strictly Type B personalities -- you know, laid back, easy going, stress-free. Logically, I thought this would be the perfect pair to my ill-tempered and impatient tendencies.
And, it was... for a while. But, it never lasted. Though I can't attest to any finite reason for what broke us apart, aside from the explanation of "it just didn't work," I can hypothesize that opposites don't always attract as most may say.
Looking back, I often took advantage of my ex-boyfriend's Type B traits, which I perceived as "weaknesses." When we would get into arguments, they would never fight back. I would just be yelling and receiving nothing except a calm silence. Yet, somehow, this still made me angry.
It wasn't until I dated someone who was just as Type A as I was that I finally realized there were things about me that needed to be changed.
One year ago, I met someone who took my world and flipped it upside down. He was unlike anyone I had ever been attracted to. Basically, he was me in male form; I had finally met my match.
It was never easy for us, though, and it still isn't. When we argue, it's like the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse coming to burn the Earth to the ground.
If I yell, he yells louder. If I am upset, he gets upset. If I ignore him, he ignores me back. I've never been at such a standstill in a relationship before. We could never come to a peaceful place, and we could never put our differences aside and forgive each other for anything.
There was never an instance where the past was not brought up without it becoming a verbal brawl. I kept asking myself the same question: "Why do I stay?" The answer was always the same.
I just wanted it to work (as most people would tell themselves when they want to be with someone but there are multiple problems in the relationship). I wanted to put all of the broken pieces together so they would fit to create a perfect us.
I kept holding out for that one day when one of us would finally back down. Eventually, I realized that person had to be me. I knew I had to be the one to back down for once.
Through all of my past relationships, I've given my fair share of verbal brawling without receiving any consequences. I misplaced all of my anger toward my partner, and he would just sit back and take it. All of it. And, I've taken this kindness for granted.
After meeting my boyfriend, I realized arguments will continue to last as long as both parties are still arguing. Someone has to put his or her pride aside, hold on and keep quiet until the storm has passed.
Dating someone who was like me has opened my eyes to the things I needed to change within myself. It showed me that you have to pick and choose your battles. It showed me that in the end, no one wins or loses.
When you love someone, you just forgive, move on and never look back.
Opposites don't always attract. You can't choose who you fall in love with. Sometimes, it just happens. And, sometimes, falling in love with someone like yourself can show you the flaws you may not be able to see on your own. It shows you how to be a better you.