10 Ways To Make Sure You're Open To Love, Despite Your Independent Nature
Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris' one-year anniversary is every Millennial's relationship goal. How have the girl who “can't make them stay” and the guy who has been known to “blame it on the night” come this far?
Relationships are challenging for us all, but this is especially true for girl bosses like Taylor. These fabulous women are so used to achieving success in their careers that — if they have time for them at all — they tend to approach relationships in the same way. Men run, and this leaves the women perplexed.
Taylor Swift went through a lot of heartbreak before Calvin. I am a professional matchmaker based in Beverly Hills, and I work with hundreds of successful women looking for love. Here are some things Taylor and other girl bosses need to give up for Mr. Right:
1. Being Right All The Time
Even if you're 100 percent positive that he said his favorite store was All Saints, all of a sudden, he's switched to G-Star. Although you know best, let him win this small battle. You will face bigger issues in the future that you can have the final say for.
It's the biggest stereotype in the world, but even if Siri incessantly tells him to make a left and he makes a right, just let him figure it out on his own. Let him lead if he's the one driving.
3. Talking About Other Men
This is a tough one. We face the temptation to bring up an ex or name-drop a guy who just hit on us.
We're all guilty, but give the poor guy a break. While you may feel flattered and get a twinge of pleasure from making your man jealous, do unto others.
4. Checking Out Other Men
Of course you have eyes and can appreciate beauty, but leave it at that. Pay attention to how you speak about other men, even if it's to your girlfriends. Save the savory adjectives to describe your own boyfriend.
5. Whether He Calls Or Texts
Women have far longer conversations with each other than men do. Think of how often you speak with your mother as opposed to your father (if you're blessed enough to have both in your life). Often, certain men will communicate less with you than you feel you deserve.
But, remember that some men just operate that way. It's not a personal attack.
6. Constant Communication
Your man has a life, and you like him for that reason. The only bachelors who can text you like it's their job are those who hate their jobs or lack a job. These are red flags anyway, and they should be deal-breakers for you.
If you want to communicate with someone constantly, text your girl gang, siblings or parents. They will love to hear from you and see the photos you took at your last outing. You'll also continue to build priceless female friendships that will support you during the ups and downs in your relationship.
7. Carrying The Conversation
Learn to appreciate moments of silence. We all need time to gather their thoughts, and your man will appreciate simply spending time with you.
Women often feel the pressure to fill in all the gaps, since they measure a good date by constant conversation. When you allow a man to carry the conversation, he can feel more confident.
You want a man with a plan. The only way he can plan, however, is if you stop choosing the details on every date. Let him pick the restaurant and select your day trip destinations or movie times.
You can tell him the activities you love and your bucket-list items, but give him the freedom to treat you like a queen. This is particularly hard for girl bosses, as these powerful tendencies have gotten you so far in your career. But out of the office, you need a man who can plan.
9. The Notion That He Needs To Make More Money Than You
Clearly, thanks to her multi-million dollar empire, T-Swift would have a difficult time fulfilling the principle that a man needs to make more money than a woman. Although this principle has ruled society for centuries, women's successes in the world have exposed the flaws with this rule.
As long as he has a stable job, works hard and enjoys what he does, continue to date him. Like the wheel of fortune, money can flow lavishly one day and utterly stop another, especially if a man loves living large.
Even if he has a billion-dollar career, he could lose his job. Or worse, you could find out that his jet-setter lifestyle has left him in extreme debt.
10. Exactly What He Looks Like
Especially in Beverly Hills, bachelorettes come into my office with a specific type or look that they find attractive. They idolize a look, and this blinds them from the right person. I always advise them to open themselves up to other types of men and to give chemistry a chance.
A great relationship requires giving up total control, which proves immensely difficult for girl bosses. However, the rewards pay off.
Any man worthy of you will appreciate the rare and amazing qualities you have to offer. Your go-getter attitude, gumption and courage will set his heart racing.