Only Couples In Their 20s Deal With These 4 Issues
As we are hitting our 30s and the younger Millennials are entering their 20s, we are being faced with important life decisions. The 75 million young adults who make up Generation-Y are forced to deal with vital decisions regarding their lives.
Until now, everyone knows we are postponing marriage and house ownership, but are there deeper challenges?
As a 20-something Millennial, I know there are more decisions we are forced to deal with, especially as a couple. Our grandparents and parents were moving out and then they were getting married, but we are still in debt and owning a house is not an option.
So, what happens when you are in a long and steady relationship?
In a relationship and living with mom and dad.
When older generations were starting a serious relationship, they also started to think about their own house. They were thinking of the advantages of using tiles in their kitchen and how to balance the cost of the house with the commute time. But millennials have to solve another type of problem.
About 35 percent of Millennial men and 29 percent of Millennial women are still living with their parents.
We are doing this to save money and out of fear of leaving our protective parents and not being able to support ourselves. But when you are in a serious relationship, you must take a decision: Would you live together with your partner and parents, until you manage to afford a rent or your own house?
The typical response is yes, as more and more Millennial couples have to live with their parents in order to be able to afford their wedding. Even after the wedding, they continue to live with their parents.
But this strange arrangement most often leads to lots of tense moments, as the parents are going to favor their child, disrupting the balance of the couple.
At the same time, the couple feels obliged to act in a certain way or do certain things, which puts lots of pressure on the relationship.
Dream job or job security?
As Millennials, we want to be our own boss; we dream of being entrepreneurs. After all, we saw Mark Zuckerberg turning a joke into a billion dollar company.
We can also get inspiration from the thousands of people who are freelancing around the globe. But chasing your dream job is also synonymous with lack of financial stability for the first few years. When you are in a relationship, you are pressured to provide for your partner and share your income for paying the common bills.
Financial insecurity is one of the main sources of problems in couples, and the reason why many choose to have marriage counseling therapy, even if they are not yet married.
Millennials have to think twice before deciding to chase their dream jobs, due to the fact they come with student debt in the relationship, which only adds tension.
More financial issues, thanks to new interests.
Speaking of debt, as both partners enter the relationship with debt, they have to decide how to pay it, now that their money is used in common.
As we love to travel and we value present experiences more than long-term plans, the decision on how to invest the money can be a tough one.
Some couples choose to invest in traveling and exploring the world, while others decide to stay put (maybe in their parents' house), and save for the future, while paying off debt.
Either way, the decision is not an easy one to make for a couple, especially since money is a delicate topic in any relationship.
Stay together or split?
This is another hard decision for Millennial couples, as the divorce rates are growing. The entire culture is now promoting a selfish lifestyle, where the individual is following his own needs and desire.
But a marriage or simply the couple life, requires mutual commitment and common goals. If one partner wants to travel the world and see what else is there to enjoy, and the other partner wants to settle down, the relationship is in danger.
Our consumerist culture is encouraging letting go instead of mending, and relationships are suffering a lot due to this fact. More and more individuals are giving up on their relationships, choosing to get out of a relationship instead of staying in and trying to fix it.
Another factor of this tendency to leave instead of stay and fight is the fear of missing out. When you have access to million of potential dates via social media and dedicated apps, you will find it harder to decide who is The One for you. Overall, millennials tend to question their relationships each time a fight takes place.
Another important problem for Millennial couples is the fact dating takes place online. This means you might be talking to anyone, as hiding your true identity is very easy online.
For new couples, this brings a new level of doubt each time your partner says something you think as being strange. Most people now search public records for their date, being afraid he or she might be hiding something. When you start a relationship with doubts on your partner, it's hard to actually trust him or her.
There are so many challenges for Millennial couples to overcome, many of them new. If Baby Boomers and older generations had to deal with wars and atomic bombs, Millennials have to deal with issues that arise from the new way of leaving.