Mattia Pelizzari

5 Things You're Doing Wrong When Trying To Score A Date Through Tinder

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A few years ago, picking up girls only was something only the Betas would do, but nowadays, the internet is considered an OK platform to meet women.

But to be honest, online dating is very much a buyer's market for women; their mere presence on a dating or social media site is going to trigger an avalanche of "hellos," “added to favorites” and klutzy, fumbling messages.

What if you're not enjoying profound success in the online dating scene? What if it feels as though all of your direct messages are being sent out into the great, uncaring void? Or worse, you're forming seemingly great connections which suddenly cut off with no warning?

When approaching girls online, it's common for a guy's proposal to get nothing but dead air. But if you are consistently not receiving any responses, or you're finding them dwindling away into nothing, perhaps the problem isn't exactly with the ladies you approach. I hate to say it, but you're the only common denominator.

So, here are some of the mistakes you are might be making:

1. U Type Lik3 thz.

I can't emphasize this enough: Use complete sentences, correct spelling and proper grammar when talking to women online.

Online dating is all about text-based communication; you have to seduce a women with your words. Using TxtSpk, 1337sp33k or any other cutesy, non-standard style of writing just makes you look like a damn loser. Texting shorthand came about because of the inherent character limits in cellphone text messaging services. Unless you're trying to pick girls up via Twitter (don't do that, either, by the way) you have all the time and space you need to compose your reply. Typos are one thing, being completely incomprehensible is another thing entirely.

And don't think just because she writes her messages and status updates like this, you have an excuse to do the same. In fact, if she does write like that, you probably should be asking yourself some very serious questions as to whether you actually want to a go on a date with her.

2. You don't actually read her profile.

You actually have to study a girl before you contact her. And I don't mean just skimming her timeline looking for something you could plug into your introductory message. Let not your fingers just leap to the keyboard at the first sight of amazing breasts.

One of the most valuable parts of online pickup is it lets you prescreen your potential dates. You can look for matching goals in life, you can look for similar interests or even just filtering by the fact that you both like the Golden State Warriors. It also lets you screen for potential deal-breakers. And many women will helpfully tell you in advance what those deal breakers are.

Deal-breakers simply can't and shouldn't be ignored; all you've ended up doing is wasting her time (and yours) when you could have been moving onto someone more receptive.

3. You take too long to set up the date.

Online dating isn't a sprint. You don't want to propose meeting up in the first or second message. After all, you don't want to look too pushy or needy. But if you've traded emails back and forth five or six times, I'm fairly certain you can safely move things offline.

This is a surprisingly common problem among guys. The anxiety of “Does she like me? I don't know … I can't risk rejection, so I should just keep treading water until she makes the first move” is almost an axiomatic part of being a failure with women.

4. You cop an attitude.

Women like “bad boys” because they're confident and aggressive. Women love confident men. Confidence is sexy. You want to at least appear confident.

But there is a very fine line between confidence and arrogance, between aggressiveness and entitlement. It is entirely too easy —especially in a text-medium — to cross the line between confidence and acting like you're owed a response/date/sex right then and there. This shows up in any number of profoundly unattractive ways. Some guys push for the date way too hard, and way too fast, sometimes within the first interaction.

The passive aggressive version of this is what I like to call the “WHY DON'T YOU LIKE ME?!” text. When some guys are either met by silence, or the woman seemingly has dropped off the face of the Earth, they'll send another message full of cranky bluster and spite-filled demands for an apology, explanation or some sort of response.

This is the online dating version of drunk dialing the girl you have a crush on, and complaining that she keeps ignoring you when you're trying to work up the guts to ask her out. Yeah, it kind of sucks that some women don't give a polite, “Thanks, but no thanks,” message, but that's life. Life's a full-contact sport. Sh*t happens. Wear a hat. And really, there's nothing sadder than impotent rage.

5. You lie.

The beautiful thing about telling the truth is never having to remember what you said in the previous interaction. This applies to online dating just as much as it does offline. Women already know that men tend to … let's be kind and say “exaggerate” in their profiles. A lot of guys lie about their height, rounding up by an inch or two. They also tend to lie about income levels, and what they do for a living.

But just like many politicians and public figures, liars get caught. The more you lie, the harder it is to keep all of your stories straight. Having those lies recorded online, where much about you can be independently verified through Google and Facebook ... well that's not only a bad idea, it's also a lame one. Quit doing it.