Julia Alltoft

This Is The One Thing Stopping You From Finding The Love You Deserve

In life, you can't expect that others are going to do everything for you. You really have to be hands-on, and put love and hard work into everything if you want to be successful. Sometimes relationships don't work out, and one of the biggest questions about breakups I get asked is, "How long will it take for them to heal and be ready to move on?" This has never been an easy question for me to answer, until now.

Moving on after a breakup is all about doing the hard work that needs to be done and putting effort into things yourself, as opposed to letting other people do it for you. The only way to truly move on from a situation is not solely from time, because many times, months and even years can go by and someone is still asking the same question of how can they move on.

To move on, you need to be ready and feel healed. But many times, it seems to take forever until those feelings of heartache, pain and any residual wounds completely disappear. Certain feelings you may have had for someone may actually never fully disappear, so that shouldn't be your expectation or goal. If anything, those intense feelings you might've had for someone should turn into a memory of something you once enjoyed, and hopefully learned from.

Everything we go through in life is just another experience, and hopefully we'll learn from those instances. As far as being ready to move on, time alone won't do the trick. You have to be ready to move on, and the only way to be ready, both mentally and emotionally, is by letting things go. This is why I write about heartbreak and letting go. Most of the articles I write, in fact, are all about this concept.

Writing about life post-breakup is a passion of mine. It's important to me to be able to help people everywhere overcame the heartache and pain that comes with a relationship coming to an end. Just remember, no one is going to do the work for you. And if you truly want to get over someone, it's going to take much more than time, and you have to put in the strongest effort of your life. By effort, I mean that you have to let go of the past. The past is dead and gone, and if it was really all that good, it would've lasted.

Heartbreak lingers. Once it sets in, it completely consumes you and makes it seemingly impossible to get rid of. When we feel this way, sometimes it's easier to let ourselves be consumed by the heartache than it is to try and defeat it. But if we're ever going to truly move on and find happiness, love and passion again, we have to fight.

Let go of the past so you can create new, beautiful beginnings in situations that have promise and hope. Find the beauty in each new day and each a new moment. Embrace the chance of having the opportunity to love again when it comes your way. Be emotionally and psychologically ready to embrace love when it appears by letting go of your past and all of the intense feelings of hurt and bitterness that came along with it.

New relationships can never thrive if you still have wounds from previous situations. You can only hide hurt and wounds so much when they're still disturbing you on some level. There's no need to hide your painful memories, but instead, let them go. If you want to move on, and you feel that enough time has passed where you should have already moved on, then it's time to let go of it and let yourself be free of the pain.